Just Your Everyday Blessed So and So

MIA - Buried Alive.

2012-01-30T13:20:00.001-07:00

I have been MIA - I hate being MIA especially when I had been on such a roll posting regularly. I love my job, I really do, but sometimes deadlines come upon me and I end up with piles to do. This is one of those times. In fact this time I keep thinking there is no physical way I can get this all done in time. I am pretty sure I will - through the Grace of God go I! I did manage to get a bit stressed yesterday - hubby could tell I was in a funk - he is so awesome though he let it go! I love him! I hate it when stress causes you not to be tip top at home. I am cooking with gas today though so feeling better. Just figured I would pop on here and let you all know where I am and what I am doing. I am at work - writing grants, I will be here until Friday at least......

To Do Lists

2012-01-25T21:01:00.002-07:00

I love To Do Lists – I use them partially as a reminder tool, partially as a means to stay on track, but mostly for the internal satisfaction of visually seeing items crossed off.

Up until today I never thought about my approach to my lists.

The same best friend that inspired my recent contentment post got me thinking about how I go about making my lists.

So here is how I do it. On days when I work I always have two lists going. One for work and one for at home. I approach my work list almost like a wish list, putting many items that I know I might not make it to, especially if a pressing e-mail comes in or I am asked to divert from my list and perform another task. My home list is typically the same and consists of my different daily routines which are usually easy to complete. I almost always get my home list complete and almost never get my work list done. On my Mondays and Fridays off I always try to pick at least one day to be ultra productive and on those days I approach my home list in the same manner that I approach my work list and yes quite often I don’t complete it.

Now on the rare occasions when I do the satisfaction I get is huge. I described it to my friend as a Grand Canyon type of miracle feeling.

She said that she always attempts to break down her tasks into manageable chunks and so most days she gives herself the satisfaction of a completely crossed off list.

I see the wisdom in this. It would save feelings of being overwhelmed and would give you a daily sense of accomplishment.

I also see the wisdom to the other approach and think it lines up with a saying my grandfather used, “Shoot for the stars, you may only land on the roof, but if you shoot for the roof you will never get off the ground.”

Of course you do have to realize that you have shot for the stars and be content, not overwhelmed and frustrated on the common day when you only land on the roof.

For me obviously my approach works. At the end of each day I contemplate what I accomplished and typically feel good even if there are many items left uncrossed.

Likewise obviously for my friend her way works and keeps her from feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.

So here are my questions;

Do you write To Do lists?

If you do which approach do you take and why?

Days Gone By... Growing Aches......

2012-01-23T11:00:00.001-07:00

I am 16, part of me knows the world is much more complicated then I realize. I know there is a dark side. I sense though that it is far from me. I am some how removed, possibly immune. I am wrong……….

I am consumed with myself - my friends, my car, my job, what I am doing tonight, who I like, who might like me, what I think, what I feel, what I don’t feel………..

We hear about a party, a friend’s dad’s birthday, we are invited to check it out.

We cruise around, there are no better options so why not?

We arrive. The father is angry at our friend, his son.

We are descending the stairs; I am the first in line. Below me is the father, in front of him the son.

The father turns to me and calmly asks me to hold his rye and coke. I take it. The father turns away, grabs the son by the collar and begins to pound his fist into his head.

I am numb.

I knew this happened, but not in a nearby town on Sixth Street??? Not to someone I share a school hall with???

The father turns back to me. A casual thanks as he takes his drink back.

I am disturbed. I don’t think I can be more disturbed. Again I am wrong………..

It is my car, and I decide this is not where we need to be. We leave. Perhaps two minutes have passed we go out the back door. The father sits on the front step smoking a cigarette. He calls to us; he doesn’t understand why we are leaving so soon, the party has just started. He laughs and tries to convince us to stay.

I am more disturbed.

I am instantly nauseated by the fact that it doesn’t occur to this man that what just happened in the basement might ruin a party.

I am pretty sure I made it to the car and off the front lawn before I began to weep. I am pretty sure, but I am not positive.

I remember not only weeping for my friend, but for my innocence and for the world…………..

Some Day List January Tasks

2012-01-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

1. Carry on with Bible Reading Plan

2. Send 1 card or letter per week

3. 20 sit ups and push ups per night

4. Find out for sure what the recommended steps/day are

5. Visit dear senior friend

6. Gather old pictures

7. Take pictures @ hubby’s birthday party

2012 Some Day List

2012-01-21T12:30:00.001-07:00

When you start a major renovation you get asked all the time, “How’s the house coming?” When you start a major renovation you get asked all the time, “How’s the house coming?”

At first you have clear, concrete answers, “Great, yesterday they cut out my bathroom wall and put in a new tub.” Or “This weekend we are having a crew over to shingle.”

Then you hit a point where all the big things are done and all you have left is a long list of little things. Soon you start saying, “All the big things are done, but there is a lot left on the Some Day List.”

Once this became a part of my language I found myself using it all the time, telling Hubby or the girls, “Put it on the Some Day List.”

The problem with a Some Day List is too often some day never comes. With the ever present distraction of today’s To Do List, you never get around to making any sort of plan for the Some Day List.

So I decided that for 2012 I would pull some of the items off of that far away list and make a commitment to accomplish them by 2013.

Just before the New Year I randomly wrote a list of things I would like to have done by December 31st, 2012. I didn’t have a plan or a process of elimination as to what item went on the list and which stayed off. Once I had my list I pulled out specific tasks to accomplish in January that would move me closer to the ultimate goal of completing the entire list. I plan to do this every month.

The first thing I realized is my list was very frivolous – I didn’t touch base on any tasks that would help me to be a better mom, wife, friend, and employee. There were very few self growth items on the list. I had reasons why I wanted to see each one done, but the reasons weren’t all that noble. I contemplated revising the list. I decided not to. I figured I would save the noble list for 2013!!!

So far the project seems to be working. Although I haven’t yet accomplished all of my January tasks I do have some time to gain ground. In a attempt to improve my chances of success I am posting my list with monthly updates here. This should make me more accountable.

So without further adieu here is my 2012 Some Day List.

What I thought was most important I made number one. I confess I stole this idea directly from The Happiness Project – I just loved it so much!!

1. Stop comparison – Be Jamie – Hubby thought this was a crazy goal – he said how could you possibly be more Jamie????

Then I wanted to touch on sentimental items.

2. All pictures that need to be in frames, put in frames – including Hubby’s grandpa’s flies and my Canadian Bill of Rights.

3. Take more pictures

4. Get scrap books back up to date

5. Make a wall of “old” framed pictures in my home

Then there are the ever present house renos. I talked to Hubby about putting stuff on my list that is essentially his department, he was okay with it.

6. Basement – done

7. Little Sis’s room – done

8. Our room – done

9. Kitchen – done

10. Outside plugs – all working

11. Parching

12. Eaves trough

Then there are the “finer” things in life – more decorative, more improving surroundings or mini projects of sorts.

13. Have a grand Christmas light display

14. Plant more tulips & Lilies

15. Paint outside chairs & tables

16. Add one new house plant

17. Grow a mini herb garden in kitchen

Then I move to the more social things I want to accomplish

18. Visit a relative of Hubby’s that is in jail

19. Visit Hubby’s Grandpa regularly

20. Visit a dear senior friend regularly

21. Visit two dear senior friends in near by town more often

22. Get together once with a best friend from high school that I haven’t seen in forever.

23. Plan High Tea for my mutual improvement group

24. Have a box of homemade thank you/all occasion cards on hand

25. Send 3 thank you cards and/or letters per week

Then there was the health department. I have decided that I am not and never will be a health nut. Maybe I should hate or be disgusted with my body and its size, but I’m really not, I feel attractive to my husband. I feel energetic and able to accomplish what I need to. I rarely feel drug out or blah. For a while I though I needed to loose 50 or 60 pounds because everyone says you need to. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I should be paying more attention to this, but for now I just don’t feel that push, I just can’t justify spending oodles of time thinking about something that honestly doesn’t make me desperately unhappy. Not saying I don’t have off, unattractive feeling days, but as a whole it just isn’t a big deal to me. That being said I do want to continue feeling good, I do want to strengthen my core a bit to try and avoid the same back troubles as my mother and so I have put these items on my list.

26. 50 sit ups and push ups every night

27. Eat a good breakfast everyday

28. Eat more fruits and veggies

29. Walk more

30. Swim more

Finally….

31. Complete the yearly reading plan at the back of my bible.

So that is it – my list - wish me luck!!!!

Soon – hopefully tomorrow I will post my January specific tasks.

Learn? Choose? Learn to Choose???

2012-01-20T10:04:00.002-07:00

I drove home yesterday, chewing on questions, thoughts spinning in my head. A query birthed after an e-mail conversation with a best friend.

She had made a comment about learning to be content.

Most would simply pass over this comment, but not this blessed so and so. I am border line if not all the way obsessed with the idea of contentment. I have yet to figure out why this is.

I love the word. Content. I love it more then happy, joy and even peace.

Content.

My initial response to her, was a question, do you think you can learn to be content or do you just choose to do so?

Her answer was clever and witty as per usual; I think you learn to choose to be content.

…………………..

Do you?

For my half an hour commute I contemplated this thought. I mentally ran through the times in my life when I haven’t felt content. I had a rough patch a while back. I questioned my entire life; I hated my house, was often angry at Hubby, resented the girls so on and so forth. In a conversation with my sister something was said that immediately shifted my focus. I realized that nothing had changed, the life I once loved was the same I just didn’t love it anymore. Once I saw this, a new altered positive perspective became my norm. Soon after I was back feeling content, not one circumstance had changed, only my view toward them.

I suppose the conversation with my sister could be seen as a lesson so therefore I learned to be content. I also realize that I was working off a specific point of reference, a place of contentment I had once felt so it was easy to recognize that the problem was me. Not everyone has this point of reference.

Each day I wake I repeat – “This is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it.” I see this as a conscious decision, not a process, not something I work into or learn. I decide of my own free will to rejoice.

Then again I am in a contented place. I am satisfied with my life. It is easy to decide to rejoice when you are in that place.

However, am I in a contented place because I decide each day to rejoice? Has rejoicing become a habit, a way of life, colouring everything with rose glasses???

The bible does speak of learning to be content.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4: 11-13

Then I wonder if the secret of being content isn’t once again just deciding. That it isn’t some long process, we don’t have to struggle, we simply decide that we will be content and move on?

Of course given my beliefs, it didn’t take me long to wander down the path that like ALL good things, contentment does not come from us, it is God given.

Is it God given to some people and not to others? Do we have to struggle and learn some lessons before we get it? Or is it within all of us? Is it lying there and we just need to receive it? Do we receive it by simply deciding to do so?

Does the word “learn” become a hang up? Does the word “learn” imply struggle? Like learning our multiplication tables?

After all the circles of thought and questions I can say today I believe a few things for sure.

Contentment comes from above. God’s heart desire is for us all to be content. There is a secret to being content.

The question I have unanswered is.

Is the state of contentment a process or a simple decision? Something we “figure” out or a yes I will be?????

The Twitter Stars Lined Up Yesterday

2012-01-19T11:18:00.001-07:00

Wish I knew what I did right yesterday.

Gained 37 new followers on Twitter.

I don’t entirely “get” Twitter, but I’m trying.

There seems to be no rhyme or reason to these new followers – they seem to have nothing in common and are from all over the world.

I would love to really grow this blog, I don’t really know how to though.

What do you all think the secret is?

50's Guide How To Keep Your Husband Happy

2012-01-18T11:09:00.002-07:00

Yesterday I wrote my list of things I think a husband needs to be happy and then went searching for an appropriate picture to accompany my post. In my search I came across a list from a 1950’s high-school home-economics textbook of how to have a happy husband.

Again I was struck with much of the commentary attached to this list, folks talking how archaic the overall philosophy was and how following such a list made for a happy husband, but a miserable wife. I had to disagree. Many of the points I thought were spot on. Not all of them, but many of them.

So for today I decided to post the list and below in bold write my own thoughts on each point, some I agree with and some I disagree with. Again I welcome your comments even if you do 100% disagree with me!

How to Have a Happy Husband.

Have dinner ready, Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home, and the prospect of a good meal is part of this warm welcome needed.

I do make dinner most days – it is the first thing I start when I walk in the door – I plan ahead – more for my sanity then to be a “good wife”, although I would argue that anything that keeps me sane, keeps Hubby happy! I don’t feel horribly guilty when I leave Hubby to fend for himself because I have after work plans, but I try not to make a habit of it either. I stress less about feeding the family then he would and so I look at taking on this role as an act of love and I think he also sees it this way. I don’t think women that don’t cook are bad wives nor have unhappy husbands.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

On my days off I do look rather sloppy – I figure I can get away with it because most days I am work ready. I do not change into sweats or PJ’s the minute I get home (most of the time). I think it is important to look nice for your husband – I know that sounds old fashioned, but I do think it’s important. I am far, far from a girly girl and am almost never really made up, Hubby knew this when he met me so I don’t go extreme, but I do try and look presentable for him.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

I think this is important, I try and find things to talk to Hubby about and I try to be chipper and light hearted, I know that my mood deeply affects his mood. Also we spend a lot of time talking so it is good to try and be somewhat interesting right????

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Light a candle. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

I think it is important to keep the house feeling like a “haven of rest and order”, not just for hubby, but for the girls too. My house is not perfect clean, but it is tidy and orderly, I really try to keep it feeling like a haven (I love that word – can you tell???) Both the girls and hubby get home before me, so I can’t be right on top of things, but tidying before I leave for work and when I get home helps me keep up. I really think my family appreciates it, but they wouldn’t keep on it themselves.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary. change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Well this one I am not big on – I really dislike the “playing the part” bit.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Better yet, have them in bed.

This one just made me laugh out loud – “better yet have them in bed” Too funny!!!

Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

I think this one is important – really important.

Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Just count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

This sounds bad, but I totally agree. My mother preached this rule to me a lot when I was first married. I don’t think your first exchanges after being apart should be complaints. I don’t think “they count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through” is great advice – I think it should be more like, enjoy and appreciate each other for a moment before diving into what is wrong. Still equals out to the same action and advice though.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom.

I think Hubby is capable of making himself comfortable, although he does have an overruling power – if the girls have taken over the couch and living room and he really wants to watch something on the PVR or big TV he will kick them to the little TV in the bedroom – I support this “power”.

Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.

I don’t do this – even on the rare times I am home before him.

Speak in a low, soft soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

I think this is just a funny way of repeating the advice not to greet him with complaints. I think it is important to typically greet your Hubby in an upbeat, pleasant way.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him - the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

I usually practice this – I do think of Hubby as the head of our home so it does make sense. It is pretty easy to do because Hubby is always quick to ask me how my day was and he really seems to care what my answers are!

Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

Hubby does typically set the tone of the evening. Again he does have the head of the home role. Still this doesn’t get ridiculous – I will make plans or suggestions either for us to do things together or for me to do separately. Still I often plan my outings around evenings I know he will be watching hockey or going to archery or hunting or something. I don’t know how important this is, but it does seem to work out that way in our home.

Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

This is super important not only for your husband, but for your children – I know this sounds out of the dark ages, but I think in most cases this is the women’s job – she is typically better at it and this is such an important role!!

10 Things A Husband Needs

2012-01-17T11:31:00.002-07:00

I have been married for six years. I have been blessed with two parents that are pretty darn good at being married. I feel like I have learned a thing or two about being married. I know I have a lot more to learn. I decided to take a snap shot of where I am today and boldly post a list of 10 things I believe a Husband needs. I say this is a snap shot because I am curious to see how I will view this list in say ten years. I am super curious to see how those that have been married longer and are wiser than me view my thoughts.

I admit that my view on marriage is sometimes very 1955ish. I believe that women are important and in fact vital to not only family life, but the world in general. I believe that men need to respect and cherish women. I do not believe we are inferior or stupid. A lot of the ways that men looked at women needed to change, but then I think there are some basic ways that a marriage worked well back then that can be worked into today’s marriages. I really think there are some core things most men need to be really happy and when they are really happy they are really great husbands. Obviously this wouldn’t apply or work if the man didn’t love and respect you first!!

Below I have written what I believe a husband needs to be happily married. I really encourage your comments – I would LOVE to hear if you disagree or think I am stuck in the stone ages!!!

10 Things A Husband Needs.

1. To know that you are proud to be his wife

2. That he is enough for you. He takes your satisfaction personally.

3. That the sight of him wanting you drives you crazy (I’ll admit I stole that line from a country song)

4. That you appreciate him

5. You not to undermine him – it’s okay to disagree, but not in a your stupid kind of way

6. You to believe in him

7. You to be interested in him

8. You to like spending time with him

9. You to be happy to see him

10. You to want and need him

The Kite Runner By Khaled Hosseini – Four out of Five Blessed So and So Smiles.

2012-01-16T10:37:00.001-07:00

Us folks that call central Alberta home have been VERY spoiled so far this winter! However this week it seems that we are finally paying some of our northern dues. Today and for the rest of the week we are being blasted with -30 (Celsius) temperatures.

When it is this cold you just want to curl up with a good book.

So I thought what better time to throw a review your way???

Yet another book I know I would have never read. This is why I love my list!!

I really enjoyed this novel. I loved the story and the way the characters were developed. Many parts were heartbreaking and hard to read, but still……

I will include a few of my favourite quotes to give you an idea of the tone of this book.

"I became what I am today at the age of twelve, on a frigid overcast day in the winter of 1975. I remember the precise moment, crouching behind a crumbling mud wall, peeking into the alley near the frozen creek. That was a long time ago, but it’s wrong what they say about the past, I’ve learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out. Looking back now, I realize I have been peeking into that deserted alley for the last twenty-six years."

“I firmly believed that if I had picked up a rifle and gone on a murdering rampage, I would have still had the benefit of her unblinking love. Because I have rid her heart of its greatest malady. I had relieved her of the greatest fear of every Afghan mother: that no honorable khastegar would ask for her daughter’s hand. That her daughter would age alone, husband-less, childless. Every woman needed a husband. Even if he did silence the song in her.”

"Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them with your favorite colors."

It is set in Afghanistan and portrays much of that culture – I know very little about this end of the world and can’t attest to the accuracy of the information, none the less I found it interesting.

I have never seen the movie based on this book and am not sure I really want to. Have any of you seen it? Did you like it?

If you haven’t read this book, I recommend that you do. It is not a “feel good” story, but it is still extremely enthralling.

Happiness Levels?????

2012-01-13T11:12:00.000-07:00

I’m sure you all have noticed that I can be a bit like a dog with a bone.

I apologize for those of you that are sick of Hubby or Happiness posts. I am consumed by talking about how great Hubby is and by thoughts that have come up while reading The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin

The title of this post shows that today it is once again a post about thoughts rolling in my head about happiness.

Are there set levels of Happiness?

This possibility was discussed early in the book and has been a thought running through my head and personal conversations ever since.

The concept (one of many presented in this book) is that a person is born with a set level of happiness, predetermined, like eye colour.

Note - I don’t have the book in front of me and am pulling together numbers for the sake of explaining my interpretation of this concept – it is not a direct quote and not based on any specific scientific study.

The basic idea is 50% of a person’s “happiness” is predetermined; some people are born happier than others. When factoring out circumstances, mindsets and effort certain people are just happier. The other 50% of a person’s happiness is subject to manipulation, positive thoughts, life changes, and glorious circumstances all improve an individual’s happiness.

So…… If a person is born with a particularly high predetermined happy rate and maxes out their 50% base level of happiness, theoretically with study, spirituality, and good circumstance they could reach a 100% happiness level.

On the other hand someone who is born with a low predetermined happy rate, let’s say a 10% base level, even with study, positive thoughts, spiritual growth, and perfect circumstances the best they can hope to achieve ever is a 60% happiness level. (10% base added to 50% manipulation)

Hummmmmmmmmmm……..

I don’t know what I think about this “theory”.

I presented it to numerous people and received numerous responses back.

First the word “happy” was questioned – “happy” feels 100% attached to circumstance and can change with the minutes. While “content” feels deeper, spiritual, an overall feeling about one’s life. “Joy” feels completely spiritual, joy from the Lord, a serendipitous feeling, a gift (fruit).

The best I can figure that this theory would be in regards to contentment – an overall feeling of one’s life.

Nailing down the definition did nothing to unite the various offered opinions. Some whole heartedly agreed that certain individuals are just born happier. People repeatedly brought up the different natures of their children, people raised in the same homes with basically the same circumstances yet one child always seemed happier.

A very good point and I have to agree some people just seem to be happier at a core level.

But………..

Others would insist that they believe if you change your thoughts, you change your life.

I have always believed this and have seen it play out many times in my own life – changing my thoughts about a particular situation completely changes my entire perspective.

Some theorized that it is easier for specific people to change their thoughts because they are inclined to be happier.

I have troubles buying this one.

In fact I believe that the very process of halting negative thoughts, flipping them to positive is so difficult that each and every time it happens it is a deep, spiritual miracle – we just don’t recognize it as such. I don’t believe it is easy for anyone’s sinful nature to pull out of a negative thought cycle.

For all my chats I still haven’t formed a solid opinion.

I don’t like the thought that some people can only ever be so happy, that they were just created to be less content and that is that. It doesn’t fit with how I see God.

Still all around me there does seem to be proof that yes some people are just naturally happier????

I would love to keep hearing thoughts and ideas on this, please share!!!

Terrible Thirties???????

2012-01-12T11:26:00.003-07:00

Have you ever had a revelation about yourself that didn’t exactly make you feel all that refined or intelligent?

Yesterday It occurred to me that in many ways I differ very little from a toddler.

My poor loved ones!!!!

To better illustrate:

1. I must sleep – don’t ever, ever let me get over tired – every scrap of patience and tolerance I normally possess vanishes into the great land of lost “z’s”.

2. I must eat – the second I say I’m hungry you have about 30 minutes to get something into me or………. you can literally watch my upbeat, cheerful disposition fly out the nearest window.

3. When I’ve had enough – (of the mall, kids arguing, pestering etc. etc.) I’ve had enough – it is time to change or remove me from the situation pronto - I might just throw myself on the ground kicking and screaming.

4. I get REALLY excited about normal, everyday things – something nummy for dinner – WOW!! Going to see my mom – HOORAY!!! A get together at our house – YIPEEE!!! Cuddle time with Hubby – YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! You get the drift – I have to be careful or I can work myself into a full flutter of delight overloading my senses, making me sick.

5. I HATE to be told No – what do you mean no???? No one says no!!! I wanna stomp and pout – seriously……..

6. Tied to number 5 and number four, but never the less different – I really look forward to things and have an exact picture of how it is all supposed to turn out and if it doesn’t turn out that way….. well I wanna stomp and pout – seriously……………

7. When I start to share a thought or story do your very best to not let me get carried away and overly excited. No matter how hard I try, I will talk over you, interrupt and in general lack total common courtesy – Butttttt Mom - I don’t mean to, it’s just my words come too fast and loud!!!

Sometimes I think – For how much I’ve grown I haven’t ever developed………….

The Years Are Short

2012-01-11T13:18:00.001-07:00

I keep raving about "The Happiness Project" By Gretchen Rubin - a book from my list - soon a full review will be posted here, I do have other books in line waiting to have my opinion shared about them, but they can wait. For now I must share a link to a video made by Gretchen Rubin - it is so good. I loved it! Check it out! The Years Are Short Video

Birthday Wishes and A Way Blogging Improved My Everday Life!!!

2012-01-04T13:08:00.000-07:00

Today is the day to celebrate the love of my life’s birthday!!!

I am so glad Hubby was born.

I can’t describe it – I keep trying on this blog, but it never feels like I quite capture the magnitude of my deep gratitude for this man.

I have gushed plenty about him in days gone by and I’m sure I will in the future.

Today I will share how a blogging project saved a fight and I believe strengthened my marriage.

Last month I started the weekly thankful marriage challenge – which I stole from here.

If you want to see my lists you can check here, here, here or here.

I touched on how participating in this challenge affected my everyday wellbeing. How thinking of forty different things I appreciate about Hubby really spilled over into the way I felt about my entire life.

When I shared this realization, I had yet to discover that this simple challenge would actually serve to be very useful in an extremely practical way.

A handful of days ago Hubby and I had a misunderstanding. I said something and he took serious offense, I had only meant it as a joke, but he was upset and embarrassed. I could instantly tell he was angry and I responded with my own anger. My immediate interpretation of his actions; he was being an overly sensitive jerk, why did he have to be such a baby??? “Grumble, grumble, grumble…..” We had a house full of company; the atmosphere was tense while the two of us gave each other the silent treatment.

After everyone left I told him what a jerk he was being and called him a name I know he hates and of course he responded just as I knew he would, by storming off and calling me an equivalent insult.

I was steaming mad.

I jumped in a bath because that is what you do when things are bad.

I can only attribute what happened next to The Spirit inside me, but I was reminded of my list of forty things that I so appreciate about hubby. I thoght of a comment my mom made, to remember them when things aren't so great. They ran through my head, soon I wasn’t really angry anymore. Funny how that works hey??? When your mind is full of positive thoughts it pushes the negative out!!

Naturally once the anger was gone I started thinking more rational.

It occurred to me that it didn’t really matter the intention behind my words, the fact was it upset my husband, it made him feel like a fool and it embarrassed him. The other fact is I am so proud to be his wife, so proud that I had it added to our wedding vows by specific request – I wanted to stand before 300 people and proclaim that I was proud to be marrying this specific man. Of course I felt bad for upsetting him. In reality the fact that I did lack a hurtful intention caused me to feel worse – I had spoken thoughtlessly and hurt someone that I loved. Why hadn’t I felt bad right away??? Why had I reacted in anger in the first place???

Because I needed to be right………………………………………………………………………..

I knew then I owed him an apology.

Wisdom that I know came from beyond me spoke deep inside as I realized another key certainty.

Hubby IS a wonderful man with a huge heart, but he doesn’t lose angry feelings instantly. I knew that an apology wouldn’t suddenly fix the hurt and anger he was feeling. Once again because my anger had melted I was thinking with a clear head and it occurred to me (I think maybe for the first time in my ~~life~~ marriage) that his anger didn’t have to function on my specific timeline.

Really??? To think that someone actually has a God given right to feel differently then I; the all knowing blessed so and so thinks they should???? Could it be??? Could this be what I was contemplating???????

I am convinced that a sincere apology should erase all wrong doings and negative feelings, but shouldn’t Hubby be allowed to process his own feelings in his own way?????

So here is the really big deal……

I went to my husband and I sincerely apologized for upsetting him. I didn’t harp on my lack of hurtful intention because that didn’t matter. And then………… I let him be!!!!

I wasn’t apologizing expecting a cure all – I was apologizing because I felt I had done wrong…..

BIG difference between those two things.

We went to sleep – he was still angry and I was sad that I had upset him.

* Disclaimer * Now I know that everyone says you should never go to bed angry and maybe one day Hubby and I will reach this point, but I have to tell you one thing I have learned in six years of marriage this advice is 100% bogus for us – trying to force a resolution has caused more damaging fights then I can shake a stick at!!!

The next morning Hubby wasn’t himself and I was even sadder that I had hurt him.

Guess what?

It is pretty hard to stay really angry at someone you love who is saddened because they did something to hurt you.

It wasn’t long till I had a hug and an admission that maybe he had been a bit silly reacting to what I said the way he did. And life carried on…………

It isn’t all that long ago this story would have played out VERY differently. Damaging words would have been spoken, nothing would have been accomplished except for setbacks to overcome in the future and the time lost being unhappy, stressed out and angry would have at least doubled!! Oh and not to mention neither of us would have slept that night….. this would have thrown everything for a loop for who knows how long!

I do believe there are many, many factors to this improvement and I am not naïve enough to think it will always work out this well. Still today I cannot believe what a difference a blogging challenge made.

Seriously I urge everyone to do the same – even if you don’t post it on the internet, I really don’t think you have too much to lose!

Now back to the day at hand – Happy, happy birthday my sweet, sweet husband!!!! I love you so!!!!

2011 Questions Answered

2012-01-03T15:51:00.000-07:00

So my last post was about the biggest, most life changing lesson that I was blessed to learn in 2011.

I had a plan today. A specific topic I wanted to write about.

I started by catching up on some much neglected blogs that I follow.

I came across a format that I really, really liked.

I decided to steal it without permission.

I’m hoping this is okay.

I will give credit where credit is due and beg you all to go check out my inspiration.

Below is a list of questions I asked and then answered for 2011.

1) What is one truth you learned?

Live each day like it is your last – because it is! Today is my last and only January 3rd, 2012 – Lord please let me allow you to do it right through me!!!

2) What is something that you did that you are particularly proud of?

Becoming the legal, adoptive mother of Big Sis and Little Sis – they are such amazing girls – the journey the four of us are on is not always easy and smooth, but I am so proud of the human beings they are and overwhelmed that God gave me the gift of helping to raise them up!!

3) What was the hardest thing that you had to do?

Made a phone call to someone I loved with bad news – shortly after received a phone call from someone I loved with bad news…… it all worked out Thank God, but I would say that it was the hardest thing I had to do this year…………. I hope it never happens again…………………….

4) What is something that you changed to improve the way you live?

I made a point of reading a bit of the bible every single day. I used to always read in fits and starts, but the commitment I made a handful of months ago to read the entire Bible in one year has improved my days in a way that is immeasurable.

5) What was your favourite Arts and Cultural discovery?

An Arts Academy in a nearby town and their shows – I attended one – Guys and Dolls and it was really amazing – I can’t believe I had never been to a show – it’s so close, such a treasure and I had such a good time…..

6) What was something new you tried?

Cockles – pickled clams – surprise I liked them!!

7) What experience did you appreciate the most?

The entire planning of my sisters 30th birthday party – the first eight months of 2011 were filled with coffee planning sessions, gatherings, purchases, saving, anticipating – it was one of those great events that I really, really appreciated and was honoured to be a part of!!!

8) What did God surprise you with?

The knowledge that this world is truly not my home – I have heard this a million times, but this year, one day driving to work – heart broken by the pain in a loved ones life, yet full of joy and thankfulness for my own blessings, yet experiencing the dreadful bubbling up of fear that perhaps any second the rug would be ripped from under me – 150% conflicted and beside myself; a truth was made clear. This is not my home. There are things I enjoy and love, but this is not my home.

9) What was something that inspired you?

Talks with my mom – I can honestly say that no single other action, words, event inspired me more than the countless chats with her!!!

10) If there was one word to describe 2011, what would it be?

Multifaceted

My Greatest Lesson - 2011.

2012-01-02T08:56:00.003-07:00

2012……

A new year.

The days can be long, but the years are short.

I’ve been reflecting a bit on 2011. I am pleased with the year. I think I did it better than 2010. That is all we can really ask for – to grow, to learn, to be a bit better today than we were yesterday.

I believe the greatest lesson I learned in 2011 was to live each day like it is my last because it is.

I know this sounds simple, but it never really imprinted itself on my soul until sometime around the end of summer 2011.

The lesson is……

This is my last (insert today’s date). I will never get to live today over. The seconds, the minutes, the hours they fly by never to be recaptured.

I have always had this keen sense of the passage of time. My mom attributes it to nearly dying at birth. Still this year the fleeting nature of existence became more tangible, I began attacking the fact that life flies by with practical solutions.

About three or four years ago when I was going through a rough time my mom bought me a coffee mug with the verse, “This is the day The Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.” written on the inside rim. Every morning as I drank my coffee I was reminded that having a good day is an act of will and not a whim of circumstantial, cosmic good fortune.

This was powerful. I believe that coffee cup was a significant key to pulling out of that rough patch.

I also believe that this was a time of early seed planting for the flower of wisdom that bloomed this year.

Four years to incubate…..

Never the less, it did bloom and that is the main thing!!!

When it clicked that today is my only chance, there are no do overs. I began each day different, I not only recited the above verse, I started to vocalize (quietly in my head) that today is my last (insert date), I asked God to guide me through to speak to me and allow me to be His eyes, ears, mouth, hand and feet. Please, God help me to live today well. I am filled with a sense of urgency, that today is important no matter how routine or ordinary it looks. That essentially life is ordinary, routine days strung together like words in a novel. Our thoughts and more importantly our intention have a powerful impact on the outcome of each days story.

This has been life changing in so many practical areas.

I could give examples every day. Moments when I feel out of sorts, angry, frustrated and I am reminded that today is it, do I really want one blip to turn into a day long ordeal?? Do I really want today to pass by, only to be reflected on as squandered with negativity???? The answer is always a resounding NO!

At the end of each day I take a moment to think about the day. To pull out the seconds, minutes (God forbid), hours wasted. To figure out what choices I made that directly led to that waste. To ask God to reveal to me how I can do it better tomorrow.

Conscious reflection, before and after each day has changed my overall perspective. I believe that I am better for it. I feel happier and more productive, even on days of illness or relaxation with little “productivity”.

Many arguments, hard feelings, snappiness, and self pity have been halted in their tracks with the simple question – is this really how I want to spend today???

I think we can read many, many words of wisdom for many, many years and not really get it until The Spirit writes it in stone on our hearts. I am so thankful for this tidbit of divine wisdom.

I look forward to 2012 to continuing to do better each day (I pray), to maybe learning another life changing lesson…………..

Christmas Reflection

2011-12-28T11:33:00.002-07:00

My blogging has been seriously neglected as of late. Now that the holidays are basically behind me I hope to get back on track.Words cannot express the magic of this Christmas for me. It wasn’t that any one specific amazing thing happened; it was a collection of ordinary perfection. I am reading a book that I am finding amazing – The Happiness Project – it’s on my list and I will post a full review when I’m done, but I am getting so much out of it that I am sure sprigs and sprouts will show up in more then a few posts. One such sprig is the author discusses how life is made up of three revolving stages, anticipation, savoring and reflection. I have no troubles with anticipation, I am extremely emotional and get very excited for pretty much everything. I find that whenever I reflect I am overcome with profound sadness, consumed with a dreadful feeling that I didn’t savor the event, moment, weekend enough. It feels like time went by too fast, what I had anticipated is now over and gone forever and somehow I didn’t enjoy it enough. Today when I reflect on the events of the last few days, I honestly feel like I got everything out of it that I could have. I really experienced everything; I enjoyed it as much as was humanly possible. I am slightly sad that it is over. I am okay with this sadness – the only means to best explain this feeling is to steal a line from a previous post; Don’t Blink! – “When you really think it through - deep melancholy reveals a life well lived.”This slight sadness is nothing compared to the urgent grief I typically experience, that some how I missed something very important. I don’t know if this was a phenomenon akin to lightening striking, never to be experienced again or if I am finally getting down the savoring part of life. Maybe I have tapped into the spirit inside of me that connects to the present moment????Man I hope so…. Doesn’t that sound like heaven???For now I will savor today and anticipate the reflection of the next big event, praying for the feeling of satisfaction I feel today…….

Day Four - Weekly Thankful Marriage Challenge

2011-12-15T20:40:00.001-07:00

*** I don't know why my paragraphs aren't coming across when I post this.......... I don't have time to play with it, so I apologize that it is one long paragraph I know it makes it harder to read************Must be the time of year or something! I was doing so well keeping up with regular posting and then wham! I’ve slipped behind again!Now don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining about “this time of year” – I love it! Still I guess it is obvious that blogging has taken a back burner..... I have ~~thousands~~ four or five ideas to write about, so one day I will get those thoughts down. Today is the final day of my thankful marriage challenge. I cannot express how thankful I am that I came across this. It has been a wonderful challenge and I find myself thinking all the time of things I’m thankful for about Hubby. I knew I was super blessed to have found such a wonderful man, but the last month has shown me that I am more than super blessed – there isn’t an adjective to describe how incredible my life is because of who choose to marry me! So today on the last day of my weekly marriage challenge I proclaim that I am so thankful……..1. That he always thanks me for dinner. I know it’s a small thing, but it just makes me feel so appreciated. 2. Along those lines he always notices and comments when I’ve cleaned the house, again this seems small, but it makes me feel much appreciated. 3. That he almost always does the choir, piano and voice lesson run to nearby town. I know he doesn’t really enjoy waiting around, but he still does it without complaining and lets me hang at home to do whatever I need or want to do there. It is a twice a week gift from him to me!! 4. He goes to so many events with me, it is very rare that I attend a function without him; this includes the girl’s presentations, games etc. Most of the other parents are there apart, either just a dad or just a mom, I love, love, love it that we do these things together. 5. He surprises me at work with strawberry steamers. It is the only time I drink them, it just seems right to leave them as my special Hubby thing. 6. He reads my blogs. Again this seems silly, but I love writing and it means a lot when he tells me how much he enjoys reading what I write. 7. That he laughs at my jokes. I love that he "gets" me. 8. That when he is away he always, always makes time to call and if I’m not home he will wait up to talk to me. 9. That he is one of my top three favorite people to shop with and this includes clothes shopping. I love having him with me to buy new clothes – I know that’s strange, but it is so awesome to get his opinion and he always makes me feel like I look like a million bucks when I leave. When he likes how something looks he makes it obvious how much he likes it! 10. That I truly feel that he loves me for who I am the good, the bad and the ugly. I never, ever question that he loves me. Sadly because I sometimes get a wicked tongue when I’m angry; he hasn’t always been given this gift from me and this breaks my heart. I can’t describe how incredible it is to know that you are loved by a man that is the very centre and core of your world.Thank you Hubby for all that you are and all that you do. No matter what life throws at me I know that I can do it if I have you. You make my heart swell!!!!

Day Three of The Thankful Marriage Challenge

2011-12-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

The days have gotten away on me!

I sit here Sunday morning with my “This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in It.” cup of coffee not really grasping that it is in fact already Sunday!

There is much I could write about. Our Christmas Variety Show was last night and oh so much fun; I’ve got a million ideas swirling in this head of mine.

The one that is most calling to be put on paper is my third day of the thankful marriage challenge.

I should have posted this on Friday. I am late. The plus side is for three days I have been thinking of a list of ten things I love about hubby… is there any wonder it’s been a fantastic three days?????

So here goes my third list – if you missed it, here are my first and my second.

I find myself everyday in an epic love story; thinking about it takes my breath away. I am so thankful because……..

1. Hubby is so smart……. this is one of those qualities that can be taken for granted. Hubby leads our home with a keen edge of everyday life wisdom; this is a quality that is priceless and soooo important.

2. He has a mechanical, fix it brain. He can and will try to fix just about anything that is broken. He is incredibly capable when it comes to mechanics and household jobs. I SERIOUSLY lack in this department. Everyday this quality makes me grateful to have married the man I did.

3. If something means a lot to me, it means a lot to him. I really enjoy going to church, he goes with me. I wanted to put on a Christmas Variety Night; he not only helped me do it, but put on a show stopping act! Etc. etc. etc.

4. He is a VERY thoughtful father. I know I wrote in week one that I appreciated what a good father he is, but this is more than that. He rarely, rarely just reacts, he thinks about how our actions will affect the girls. This is how I was raised and the kind of parent I strive to be, but it would be an uphill battle if Hubby wasn’t with me on it.

5. He treats me like a best friend, confiding things to me, calling me when he just has to vent and I’m the first person he tells when he has exciting news.

6. How outdoorsy he is. He has opened up a whole new world to me, I am the biggest fan of kayaking, but there are many adventures I would never have had if it wasn’t for him.

7. He is so likeable and personable. I’m not the only person that likes him, but whatever social situation we find ourselves in he always finds several people that he can talk to and have fun with.

8. He tackles our life with a team mindset. I really feel like we are partners in everything. I don’t ever feel that it is him and me, it is always us and he is the one that sets this tone.

9. He has the perfect degree of sentimentality, he saves cards and letters and remembers anniversaries and events, but it isn’t over the top fake.

10. He is always thinking about me. Not to say he doesn’t do things for himself, that are just about him, but I know by his actions that I am never far from his mind… this makes my heart glow!!

An Update on The Home Front….

2011-12-06T09:03:00.000-07:00

So far so……………..

Good, really good.

Both girls have been in tip top form. Treating each other with respect, us with respect. It’s been fantastic.

I pray it keeps up. I love the peace.

Last night my heart swelled so big!

We have one bathroom.

Big Sis was showering, Little Sis had to pee.

It went like this:

Knock, knock.

“Yesss”

“I have to pee.”

“Door is locked, give me one second.”

“Okay, Thank You.”

“Alright, you are good to come in.”

……………………………. Beautiful!!!!!!

It’s the little things that matter!!!

Happy Six Years Hubby!

2011-12-03T16:28:00.001-07:00

It's a cliche I know, but on this day six years ago I married my best friend!

Thanks to Hubby for six great years, I am so blessed and so proud to be your wife - I could not ask for more!

I love you to the moon and back a million times over!!!

Thankful Marriage Challenge – Week Two - Ten Things

2011-12-02T09:30:00.000-07:00

So it’s Friday again – the second Friday in my thankful marriage challenge! Check out week one if you missed it!! I am thankful I have such an amazing guy that it is so easy to think of reasons to be thankful.

I am head over heels for my guy............

I am so thankful…………………..

1. That our anniversary is so important to him (it’s tomorrow). He really makes me feel like one of his greatest accomplishments and source of pride is our marriage. I can’t put a value on this, it’s priceless.

2. That if I am concerned about something, he is concerned and goes out of his way to try and find a solution. This happens all the time and warms my heart constantly.

3. That he respects and accommodates how much my family and friends mean to me and how they really are a passion of mine – he is always up for spending time with them and entertaining at our house. I am so blessed that way.

4. That he is such a “rule” man – I bug him all the time how he is so rigid about right and wrong but the truth be known I love, love, love his integrity.

5. That not a day goes by that he doesn’t make me laugh and often sends me into a fit of hysterics. He brightens my days and my heart glows at the thought of seeing him!

6. That he accommodates my anal tendencies with the house, he keeps his things tidy and goes through piles of stuff just because he knows it drives me crazy, he puts dishes back exactly how I like them even though it is more trouble, he hangs his towels, closes the shower curtain, puts his dirty clothes away etc. etc. etc.

7. That he is such a hard worker and provides well for us. This can be so easily taken for granted but it is sooo important and if he didn’t have this quality I can’t imagine what life would be like!

8. That he lets me set the tone of the house – a lot of things are “Jamie’s way” – I know people don’t always think that because I seem “easy going” – trust me until you have lived with me I am not always “easy going” and hubby does a lot of things on a daily basis just because Jamie wants it done that way.

9. That he brings me up to be a better person – he is my biggest fan and is constantly telling me how amazing I am, but he doesn’t let me get by with poor behaviour either, if I’m being spoiled or acting poorly he is one of the first to let me know!! He almost always does this in a loving way too! I don’t always appreciate it this at the time but in general I really do, I am better because he married me!

10. His amazing positive attitude – it was one of the very first things that made me fall in love with this man. Ten days after we started dating he broke his back, he was lying in a hospital bed not knowing if he was going to be paralyzed and his attitude was over the top. I see this quality a lot. I will be worried and stressed and he will smile and tell me it is all going to be okay. He really believes it and means it, his faith overwhelms me!!

We Have Failed Our Children.

2011-12-01T10:50:00.002-07:00

Sounds dramatic, but seriously…. we have.

The last bit has been a struggle. The attitude out of the girls; towards each other, friends and even us has gotten out of control. The selfish thinking, materialism and entitlement are through the roof.

I have a long wick. I almost never yell at the girls or get super angry; it’s just how I’m built. I get frustrated and will say I can’t talk to you right now, calm down in short order and try and address the situation.

When my wick is burnt though and I am at my line I hit it with a bang – every core of my being screams ENOUGH!

I finally hit that yesterday with the girls. I did yell at them, not screaming and I didn’t say anything damaging (thanks be to God, because trust me on my own when I hit that point my tongue gets ridiculous, nasty and hurtful). I just hollered something like, “You two are driving me crazy! I have had ENOUGH of this!!!”

Hubby and I went off to talk and I said with 100% resolve things NEED to change.

On a soul level I know that children are children and problems like this aren’t really their fault, it is at the core; our fault.

I am not entirely beating us up; our situation played some into this. First the girls came every second weekend and on those weekends they were the total, 100 percent focus of everything. They really ruled things. I mean of course there were house rules, but the dictated what we did and everything was about them. I believe this is how it should be if you are only seeing your children four days a month!

Suddenly though; WHAM they lived with us full time. We had to adjust, there were so many different things going on and some many changes to get used to that now looking back on it, it is pretty clear we did not teach the girls what their place in the family was. Don’t get me wrong; I am not of the mindset that children are stupid and are to be seen and not heard, but never the less there is a hierarchy and respect that needs to happen. Even now at 31 there are things I might say or do to a friend or other family member, but my parents are my parents and there are some things you just don’t say or do around them! Period!

There is an area I have to take 100% of the blame. You see I often parented from my “personality” and not my “brain”. My mother was fantastic at reading my sister and me; gearing her parenting style to us as individuals. I am the kind of person and (according to mom) was always the kind of person (even at two), that liked to know the reason why something was being done or going on. I was the type of kid that if I thought you were being fair and reasonable with me I made it my mission to be fair, reasonable and respectful to you. I am that type of adult. I do not respond well to being pushed – hence my point of frustration right now with the girls!

I thrived in this environment. I became a parent overnight to a six and ten year old and assumed they would thrive. I assumed if I explained to them things that many parents would say is none of their business, if I was reasonable and respected them they would automatically return the favour.

Sometimes this works. Sometimes it creates a situation where the child feels they are your equal and takes the inch and runs a mile.

My mother knew my sister was that type and she didn’t deal with her the same way as she did me.

She was so smart…………………….

I am getting smarter……………………..

So we “laid down the law” last night. Things are changing. I still think the new rules are reasonable….the girls (well mostly Big Sis) are furious!!!!!!

It is harder on her. She is older and some of the changes affect her more. I wish we hadn’t made these mistakes and we had just done it right all along.

So here is the list of our changes. Let me know if you think we have swung too far the other way, I do still want to be reasonable – I have included my reasons and when laying it out for the girls these reasons were told to them.

1. They float along too much and get to their chores whenever they feel like it too often (especially Big Sis, but sometimes Little Sis too). This is disrespectful and needs to stop. Starting today they will have their general “chore board” where I write things that come up, like take out the trash, but in addition they will have daily (Monday thru Friday) chores that MUST be done after school OR there will be punishments. No second chances. It is an expectation and that is that. I am not treating them like slaves, the way it has been is many, many days their only chore was to let the dog in and out – pretty soft touch. The chores spread out through the week consist of; cleaning room, sweeping floor upstairs, washing and shining laundry room sink, dusting living room, vacuuming tiny basement and cleaning the chinchilla’s cage. They only have one item each per day. I don’t think it is over the top.
2. Both of them almost all the time tell Hubby and I what they are doing – for example “I am going skating.” not “Is it okay if I go skating?” This has been going on a long time. Each and every time they are corrected and told that they have to ask, then they rephrase it and if we would have said yes we then say yes. Telling us what they are doing is disrespectful. I told them that their years of being taught and warned have now passed, they need to start doing and from now on out if they tell us what they are doing and don’t ask respectfully ask they will ALWAYS not be doing it. Even if we would have said yes the answer will now be no.
3. No more last minute plans, staying in another town after school, not coming home for dinner because they decided to stay at a friend’s house. We demand notice – at the very least the morning of. Obviously there will be once in a blue moon exceptions to this rule but these WILL be once in a blue moon not all of the time. It is disrespectful to not give us some notice and expect that you can just do whatever you want whenever you want. Along with this rule they were told (this especially affects Big Sis), that they can ask for rides at the last minute, but be prepared to hear no more often. We are not going to be ready at their whim to drive them here and there. If it works, it works, but again you can’t just demand and expect.
4. Finally and this is what really put Big Sis over the top. I have been really thinking a lot lately how so many kids today are 100% of their waking hours totally immersed in the drama of school and their peers. When I was a kid I had down time. You need down time. If you spend almost all of your life communicating through a means that is not a real connection and you are constantly bombarded with the craziness that often goes with that age you WILL be effected negatively and you will stop knowing how to connect. Texting, e-mailing and facebooking is NOT connecting, it is simply communicating and there IS a difference. Currently Big Sis texts and facebooks constantly and I mean constantly – she only quits when she is too exhausted to do it. We NEVER should have let this happen!!! It has effected who she is. So our new rule which applies to everyone, including Hubby and I is - cell phones and computer are off at nine EVERY night – unless you are out and about because that is a means to contact home, but once you are home the phone is off. This did not go well…… not well at all…… This is one I wish we had been smarter from the get go, this should have been a rule all along – how could we be so silly????

So there it is…. our plan of correction, time will tell if it works. I wish kids came with a manual!!!!!!!

My Family, A Symphony, By Aaron Eske – Four out of Five Blessed So and So Smiles.

2011-11-29T09:38:00.001-07:00

To be honest I wasn’t overly excited to read this book. It is one of those that if it hadn’t been on my list I would have for sure passed it over.

The cover did nothing to capture my attention – I know you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but I have to admit that I often do!

Even the description didn’t jump at me – the one and only naturally born son living in a family with four adopted siblings, travels the world exploring the lands his siblings came from to somehow try and reconnect with his brothers and sisters.

Sounds alright, but…

I was way off base! I am once again thankful for my list, I am thankful that I read this book.

The flow of it was wonderful; I didn’t find it dry or boring and learned much about other cultures. Aaron Eske cleverly revealed deeper sides to his family dynamic without you feeling that he was just airing dirty laundry for the sake of it. You really felt like you jumped into his family and gained an understanding of the delicate relationships there.

The author also is about my age and many of his references to pop culture growing up in the eighties and nineties brought me back, I loved this!!

I have to say this was a very good book and for sure worth the read, even if the cover doesn’t really appeal to you!!!

15 Random Things About This Blessed So and So

2011-11-27T09:48:00.000-07:00

1. I have many, many favourite movies, but if I had to pick just one it would be Goodfellas – followed closely by Gone With The Wind and Hope Floats.

2. I exaggerate a lot…. I call it good story telling, but…. A rose by any other name……

3. I love my commute to work – it’s only a half an hour one way, but there is something about that time that I just love.

4. I almost always shower as soon as I wake up or very shortly after.

5. I am a BABY when I am ill.

6. I love, love, love cooking big meals – if I had more money and time I would do it at least a couple of times a week!

7. I am partial to a fair amount of “mindless” T.V. – The Walking Dead, Mad Men, Big Bang Theory, Dragon’s Den, Being Erica, Heartland, Vampire Diaries, Law and Order SVU, Pan Am and new to the list Hell on Wheels.

8. I also love, love the news and those types of shows, especially The Fifth Estate, Piers Morgan and Breakfast Television

9. I drink booze very rarely, but like the taste of almost anything alcoholic – I always feel strange when someone asks what would you prefer to drink and I reply Oh I’ll drink anything!

10. My taste for alcohol could come from the fact that I often gargle with whatever hard alcohol happens to be lying around – whenever I have a sore throat or feel a cold coming on I gargle as often as I can. Hubby always gets after me for all that I spit down the drain!

11. Most of the time I really enjoy and look forward to cleaning my house.
12. I have yet to figure out what my life passion and/or purpose is, but I am confident one day I will.

13. My favourite time to walk outside is in the winter.
14. I like old fashion things, but I love, love, love my I-pod – best gift I’ve ever gotten – hands down.

15. I still write hand written letters and thank you cards as often as I can.

Thankful Marriage Challenge - Week One - 10 Things

2011-11-25T07:45:00.000-07:00

Okay I know, I know - I said that I “could” post about Hubby every day, but that I wouldn’t.

I’m not – my last post was three days ago.

Most of you are likely thinking three days is not nearly a long enough break. You roll your eyes and say we get it you love you husband; he’s great, blah, blah, blah! Move on!

Still I ran across a post and a challenge and I figured I just had to do it.

The challenge is to write ten things directly related to your spouse that you are thankful for. Not only write ten things, but write ten different things every week of November.

I am obviously late to stumble on this post, so I have decided to take this challenge and post ten things I appreciate about hubby every Friday until December 23rd.

I really have a heart this Christmas season to get back to the basics and to focus on what’s important, getting everything out of every moment this year.

I think this challenge will help me accomplish this goal. I’m excited about it.

So here is my first list of ten things I so appreciate about Hubby.

1. That he helps me dry the dishes and clears the table every night. I love the help, but more than that I love the time together.

2. That he lets me watch whatever I want on T.V. if I tickle his back while I do it, this has become a nightly ritual and means so much to me, it is the perfect combination of “me” time and “us” time – I love it!

3. That he sends me messages every day, several times a day, telling me that he misses me, that he loves me, and that he can’t wait to see me. These never, ever get old!!

4. That he never leaves without embracing me and telling me how much he loves me.

5. I so appreciate the spot below his right shoulder that fits my head perfectly. I am more than grateful that he goes to sleep every night on his back (not his favourite position) so that I can fall asleep with my head nestled in and his arms around me. It is seriously my favourite place to be in the whole world!

6. That he always knows just what to do with me when I get frantic and rushed, I turn into a complete idiot and he has spent many days and years learning what to say, what not to say, what to do and what not to do. I can’t believe he didn’t just throw his hands in the air a long time ago about this.

7. That he tells me I’m beautiful many, many times a week.

8. That no matter what he’s doing he always makes me feel like it would be better if I was there. I don’t always go and I know he enjoys his time away, but he always goes out of his way to make me feel wanted.

9. I so appreciate the father he is to the girls. He tirelessly works at being the best Dad he can be, he spends hours thinking about the best way to handle situations and he is genuinely interested in who they are, what they do and who they want to become.

10. I love his servant’s heart; he is always ready to help someone out or to jump in at a group event. He gets after me for always “volunteering” him, but he always does it and never gets angry at me!!

My Attempt to Get Back to The Heart of It All

2011-11-24T09:32:00.000-07:00

This year more than ever it is heavy on my heart to really remember what Christmas is all about.

When I look back on my childhood there are maybe two or three gifts that I remember. What really stands out and all that I loved about the season has nothing to do with gifts or even a lot of spending.

Time marches on. New traditions are made, added to some of the good old faithful ones.

Still I really feel the last couple of years I have bought a bit into the stress of it all. Buying gifts that we can’t really afford, jam packing our schedule with things that don’t really matter, losing that feeling inside and not even really knowing why.

Not this year!

I already feel fuller of the spirit then I have in a long time. I am really excited about this season and really excited about the celebrations.

This is what I have done so far to try and pull back on what so much of the world says Christmas is.

1. With my Aunt we have planned a family dinner on the 3rd. I know this doesn’t sound like much, but this is the side of my family that has really been fragmented for a lot of years. We gathered this summer and it was great and I cannot express how much I am looking forward to this Christmas gathering.

2. Hubby and I sat down and figured out an entire Christmas budget. An amount that we can afford to spend on gifts, food and other holiday expenses. We will do it on that amount of money and that is it. The freedom this gives me is indescribable. It has just lifted any money stress off. Is the amount of money as much as we usually spend? No. Is it what I suppose I wish I could spend? No. Am I thankful that we have that and can spend anything at all? More than words can say.

3. On the 16th we are holding our very own Variety Night! A time in our home where friends and family will gather and entertain each other in any means they feel fit. People will sing, dance and act. Everyone is bringing a snack item. The girls are learning Christmas songs so we can all carol together. It will be an almost free night for everyone just sharing in fellowship! I can hardly wait.

4. I haven’t worked this out with hubby, but I would like to spend one or two days this season taking in some of the festive events that cost next to nothing.

5. Hubby and Brother in Law are driving out to the bush to cut three trees. We are allowed to cut three on one permit – so my sister, my folks and us can all have a hand cut, inexpensive tree. I will admit that when this plan was first suggested to me I cringed. I am a tree snob. There I admitted it – do they have tree snobs anonymous??? I have always been a tree snob. I have this picture of the perfect Hollywood tree in my mind. In years gone by my folks have had more prosperous years and have indulged me with perfect tree after perfect tree. I don’t even want to think what they have spent. This year they have fallen on particularly hard times and so that option is out of the question and purchasing a perfect tree out of our limited budget doesn’t make a lot of sense. God did some pretty cool work inside of me, because after this idea was suggested and I admitted I was a tree snob, suddenly the perfectness of the tree lost its importance and I am really looking forward to seeing what the guys bring home!!

6. I started decorating very early and listening to Christmas tunes. This being the case I refuse to buy anything to add to the décor and even though we were given a lot of outdoor decorations if we don’t get them out this year – which is a significant possibility – we don’t have all of our new gutter up yet and not all of our outdoor plugs are working – I am okay with this. You see it just isn’t worth being upset about. Again I know this is God’s magnificent work inside of me because trust me ladies and gents this sort of attitude about something like this is NOT me!!!

7. Of course the normal gatherings that happen every year will still occur, our annual friends dinner, early Christmas with Hubby’s Dad, Christmas Eve day with Hubby’s sister, Christmas Eve at my sister’s and Christmas day at our place. However this year since my mind and heart have shifted, my excitement and anticipation for these events have shifted as well.

I am still keeping my heart, ears and mind open to more ways to get back to the real meaning and spirit.

Do you all have any ideas and suggestions for me????

Oh and Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends, reading this!!

Adoption.........

2011-11-23T09:59:00.000-07:00

I only ever wrote three posts about the “adoption”.

I don’t know why only three.

They are here, here and here if you want to read back.

Obviously adopting two children is a big deal.

The process was not as quick or as smooth as we had hoped. I signed in October 2010, we thought it was only a few weeks away; it didn’t become final until October 2011.

Bio Mom never changed her mind so that wasn’t the issue; I would have thought she would have.

I expected her to.

I think the girls deep inside did to.

Still this is what she wants.

In all fairness to her, she would still see them if we would allow it.

I know people disagree with us, but one of the main reasons I adopted the girls was to protect them from their Bio Mom’s damage.

If she ever gets it together, gets the help she needs and is the mom those two beautiful girls deserve we will for sure let them see each other.

I know beyond a doubt that those two amazing girls have enough love in their hearts for me and for her and they need her to be the mom she is supposed to be. I can only fill the hole so much.

I do my best.

I pray she gets it together.

I am doubtful. I shouldn’t be, but I am……

Time will tell.

She insists one day the girls will hate us for this.

They might.

I pray they don’t.

But, even if they do……

They will hate us with a firmer foundation and much less inflicted abuse then if we took the easy route.

I am sure it will be worth it……..

I Love This Man!!!

2011-11-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

I know I fairly recently wrote a post that proclaimed how much I loved hubby.

The truth is I could endlessly write the reasons why I adore him, however the few readers I do have would quickly disappear. As much as I marvel and am enthralled with all of the emotions I feel and how every day these feelings grow, most of the world could care less.

Still I had to share this one thought.

I sat drinking coffee while three hunters – one being hubby ate their breakfast, I had already eaten, but was still touched they had invited me to join and so I sipped my hot drink and listened to their stories, I asked questions because everybody loves to talk about what they know.

I made some comment and one of the hunters turned to hubby and said, “You have a really great wife!”

I hear that often.

It’s nice to hear nice things, but as I walked home alone, my mind slipped into pondering.

I came to this conclusion.

It is really easy to be a good wife, when you have a good husband.

I know many women dread hunting season and I know many couples fight a lot during this time of year.

Hubby and I did at first. It was mostly my fault.

I bought into the whole “hunter’s widow” mentality, because you are suppose to be mad when your husband is hunting!! It’s a universal law – like gravity don’t you know???

Thankfully I matured.

The truth is Hubby is away more during hunting season then other times of the year, but rarely is he ever home after dark which is never very late, it is fall in Alberta! He doesn’t spend the mortgage payment or the grocery money. He never misses anything really important and when he is home he does spend most of it with us girls. Also Hubby never complains when I spend time at my folks or with my friends. Finally I don’t feel like Hubby is hunting because he doesn’t want to be with us – he takes the girls with him a lot and he would take me if I was into that sort of thing.

He loves hunting and he loves us.

And that’s okay!

You Know When The Men Are Gone, By Siobhan Fallon - Four out of Five Blessed So and So Smiles

2011-11-21T09:25:00.000-07:00

Yes I am still plugging away on my list. I am taking a break to read a book hubby recommended and then one I won at an event – which should give me time to catch up on my reviews!!

I read this book a while ago, but really liked it.

It is a collection of short stories that are not connected, yet all have a running theme, they are told from the point of few of the women on the same military base – Fort Hood. Most of the times the women are left behind while their men are off at war, a couple of the stories do address the time immediately after their men return. All of the stories are excellent and it covers so many different perspectives, cheating husbands, cheating wives, women with children, women without, etc. etc.

I really liked how this book was written. I really liked how you got to look at an aspect of war so commonly forgotten. These men that fight our wars leave families behind. It isn’t just the soldiers that are deeply affected it is all of their loved ones.

Some families and couples adjust better, while others are torn apart. This is so very realistic, just like in life off a military base, sometimes families handle life’s great events and other times they crumble under the strain.

If you are looking for a fairly quick read, yet still full of prose that make you stop and think then this is the book for you!!

I’ve been on a roll lately with my list and haven’t found any duds! Hooray for good books!!!

Don't Blink!

2011-11-18T09:51:00.006-07:00

Hubby is curled on the couch, watching a hockey game – our beloved Calgary Flames battle on the ice –pretty ordinary background noise in our home.

Wait? Lanny MacDonald? Mike Vernon? Joe Nieuwendyk???

Something is very strange here…..

Thanks to Retro Sports Central – the playoff series from 1989 is on – this is the year The Flames won the cup. I had to stop and watch.

I was eight going on nine when that game originally aired. Twenty two years have passed.

I can see my family watching that series, in a house empty compared to today, with brown overstuffed furniture, complete with a foot stool because no one used the word ottoman back then. The T.V. sat on shag carpet in a cabinet; the “remote” was attached to a box with a long cord that stretched across the living room. My mom was 34 (three years older than I am now), My Dad was 42 (five years older than hubby is today). My grandma was alive and well, we often hung out at her place which was just a block over – she cooked Sunday supper every week, we had Halloween parties and big Christmas Eve celebrations, we camped in an orange canvas tent, we had friends and family over to roast a pig in the ground, we went to the stampede, at Christmas we took a trip into the city to check out all the sparkly lights (Dad always knew where the best ones were), and grocery shopping was a BIG event we got to eat out and I got to walk around Towerlane Mall with Dad while my sister helped Mom shop. I remember when The Flames won the cup, I can still hear Dad’s shouts of joy as he leapt off his chair!

I was overcome with sadness as I watched that game a few days ago, I am overcome now. I had to leave the room then. I had to walk away from the computer today.

Don’t blink, twenty two years goes faster than you think.

My soul knows that twenty two years from now, if I am blessed to still be here I will feel the same about today. I know we can’t let the passage of time rob us of today, but still sometimes…….

I have a photo of my grandparents, they are young – twenties, thirties maybe. I often wonder if they had known then, what lied before them - the heartache, the end of their days not turning out picture perfect would they have done it the same? Would any of us?? The truth is if we missed the pain, we would miss the joy and thank God there is always a lot of that too – even for my grandparents who didn’t have the best life and were both taken from this earth far too soon.

Today my heart is heavy, many I know are hurting, and many struggle. Time goes too fast. The minutes turn to years. Still in my sorrow I am thankful. Thankful for the reminder that every day is a precious gift. Thankful for the awareness that today is tomorrow’s yesterday and that yes sorrow must be felt and experienced and even embraced, but that the moments of today are filled with incredible blessings and that each one must also be felt, experienced and embraced.

You see one day, twenty two years from now this will all be a treasured memory of the past and I don’t want to look on it with regret, but with a deep sense of sorrow; that will mean that it was done well, that all of God’s blessings were experienced fully. How awful it would be if I look back on today with gladness that it is over and done with??? When you really think it through - deep melancholy reveals a life well lived.

Routine - Do You Love It or Hate It???

2011-11-17T13:08:00.000-07:00

So on a couple of the blogs I read, they had posts of how their day played out.

This ties into a post idea I’ve had for a while now.

Routine.

Do you love it or hate it?

Do you thrive on surprises and love the unpredictable?

Or do you like to know what’s going on, your days steady and foreseeable?

I love routine. By nature I would be one of those folks that live and die by the routine. It is impossible to fully be like this without moving to a bubble all by yourself, but if I could I would. (Live by routine, not move to a bubble…. well some days….)

I have been blessed with a family that is so amazing they all go out of their way to accommodate my need for routine. Well Little Sis is exactly like me in this fashion so we easily accommodate each other; however Big Sis and hubby set their own personalities aside to make Little Sis and me happy a lot of the time.

I have gotten better and will leave the kitchen a mess until company leaves - can you believe it???

I will skip “routine chores” if the day is too busy or full – amazing isn’t it????

Still I am VERY routine, predictable and I love it that way.

To copy some of the posts I read yesterday below is an overview of my day as it unfolded on November 16th, 2011.

5:50 AM – Alarm goes off – I hit snooze 3 times before getting out of bed. Turn coffee pot on (which I prepped the night before), shower, read Bible, visit with hubby, prepare three coffees – two go mugs for hubby and I and one for me for the morning.

6:45 AM – Let dog out, start Hubby’s truck, send hubby off to work with lunch and coffee, put girls’ lunches in their bags (I pack lunches the night before)

7:00 AM – Call Big Sis and Little Sis (First Call, Second Call, Get out of bed call), Get ready for work, make bed (I usually put a load of laundry in, but I skipped it since I knew I would be home late – AMAZING!!) Make Little Sis breakfast – two eggs, toast & milk – Big Sis refuses to eat breakfast and I refuse to fight with a 15 year old.

7:45 AM – Head to work

8:15 AM – Arrive at work – check e-mails, facebook, e-mail good friend - multipurpose momma, read a few blogs, write a quick blog, Start working (prepare for evening meeting, return phone calls, research, mail out an application, etc. etc.)

10:00 AM – coffee time – lots of laughs with everyone – find out I need to attend a photo op for the paper and go out for lunch with some oil guys that donated money – most people would be thrilled, I am sort of happy, but of course a bit put out because my routine is upset!

10:30 AM – Keep working

11:15 AM – Go for photo and lunch, chat and visit, order Chicken Santa Fe Burger with Taco Soup – sooooo good!!! Liking my routine disruption a bit more now!!!

1:30 PM – Arrive back at office – continue working

3:00 PM – Coffee time – more laughs with everyone!

3:30 PM – back to work – normally I head home at 4:15 to make supper and what not, however yesterday I had a meeting at 7 so I just worked on through – didn’t stop for supper since I was so full from the big, wonderful lunch

6:30 PM – set up for meeting and then attended meeting – went well they had extra budgeted money and were deciding what projects in town to share it with – gotta like those kind of meetings!!!!

8:15 PM – headed home

8:50 PM – Arrived home, visited with hubby and Little Sis (Big Sis was out babysitting) – tucked Little Sis in @ 9, made lunches, got coffee ready to go (Skipped sweeping floor, touching up bathroom and folding and putting away laundry – amazing!!!) Let hubby know how much I appreciated that he had handled supper and the dishes!!!

9:20 PM – cuddled on couch, tickled hubby’s back, watched Being Erica (thankful for PVR’s)

10:15 PM – greeted Big Sis, showered

10:40 PM – Bed time!!! Snuggled to the most amazing man in the whole world!!!

What On Earth Have I Been Doing????

2011-11-16T11:47:00.000-07:00

Time can sometimes just get away from me – I seriously have no idea where the last six days have gone????

Hubby was away hunting (he sadly did not bring home an elk).

We celebrated Remembrance Day – Lest We Forget!

Took Grandma and Mom to the mall.

Cleaned house, did laundry, finished decorating inside for Christmas (minus tree).

Watched a flick at a friend’s house.

Loaded I-pod with Christmas songs.

Taught Children’s Church, Took Little Sis to make Christmas Cards, Met long lost cousin and had a long overdue visit with an Aunt and Uncle from Ontario.

Had coffee with Grandma before her surgery next week.

Worked…..

Just didn’t blog……

I know this isn’t all that enthralling – I promise to try and be back on my game tomorrow!!!

Have a great Wednesday everyone!!!

Faith?????

2011-11-10T10:05:00.001-07:00

Do you think that faith determines results???

Does the belief that God can and will do something make it so?

Does the lack of belief or doubt make something not so???

Or does this belief just help you today. I wouldn’t worry or fret if I had faith that He had it covered……

I know the bible has lots to say about faith, but I don’t know what it says about outcomes attached to faith…..

Do any of you have any insight for me?????

Family Pictures!!!

2011-11-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

That time of year again! Got new pictures so we can throw one in a Christmas card!

Thank you so much to Milestone Moments Photography and my dear friend Multi Purpose Momma for once again doing an amazing job!!! (The last shot shows that she really is a friend of mine!!!)

How To Raise A Boyfriend, By Rebecca Eckler – 3 out of 5 Blessed So and So Smiles

2011-11-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

Back to The List!

I am still catching up from a back log – I don’t want to bombard all of you with book reviews, but then sometimes I think I wait too long between them as well. Eventually I will be all caught up and then when I finish a book I will review and life will be simple!

This book was decent. For someone in a different place in their life single or experiencing relationship trouble they would likely rate it higher than decent.

It was very well written, clever, humorous and really quite true.

Each chapter went through different common problems women have with their mates and ways to fix these problems.

Now don’t get me wrong hubby isn’t perfect and we have our share of disagreements with the occasional full out fight. However in the common, everyday things, such as offering compliments and saying sorry I am really quite blessed to have found such a great guy!

Then because we aren’t brand new the areas that he isn’t necessarily perfect; like making introductions I have accepted and realized that I’m not all that great at that either. In fact that happened more than once as I read a chapter – I thought well hubby doesn’t do this to me, but I sure do it to him all the time…. maybe I need to be raised??????

Overall I did enjoy this book (I read it all the way through didn’t I???) In fact for me it served to point out how very blessed I am to have a hubby that doesn’t need to be raised.

I'm Sorry I Know I'm Going to Make Some of you Groan..........................

2011-11-04T09:08:00.000-06:00

Feeling much more restored today! Hooray!!!

Our first snow fall and my work Christmas party tonight has my head filled with pictures like this!!!!!!

Weary.......

2011-11-03T13:24:00.001-06:00

I’ve been feeling a bit weary the last week or so.

Praying for restoration.

Confident it will come.

Wishing you all a wonderful Thursday.

Sigh………………………

2011-11-02T09:14:00.001-06:00

Sometimes being a parent is really tough.

Especially when you have to disappoint a child. Hubby and I had to tell Big Sis that she couldn’t do something that she expected and felt a right to do because we just cannot afford it.

She doesn’t understand.

She’s angry.

I get that. She feels in her heart her rights are being taken away.

The truth is she doesn’t see the whole picture; she’s looking at it with tunnel vision.

How often do I do the same thing with my heavenly father????

How many times does He sigh, put His head in His hands and says “Oh my Jamie, you just don’t see everything, you think you do, but you don’t.”

I know this will pass. Eventually her anger will soften; right????

Maybe a miracle will occur and what we can’t afford today we will be able to afford tomorrow?

Maybe the miracle is that we can’t afford it……….. Maybe the lessons learned all around are much bigger than the activity??????

…………….. Sigh………………………………

Halloween!

2011-11-01T13:24:00.000-06:00

I was sooooo excited for Halloween this year.

We had a bit of a Big Bang theme going on! Hubby dressed as Sheldon and I as Amy Farrah Fowler. My brother-in-law was Lenard and a good friend was Howard.

I made a spooky dinner with calzones shaped like snakes, punch with hands and eyeballs and a swamp cake.

I was a bad mom and let Little Sis skip school to help me with all the prep work. We made a table cloth out of garbage bags and paint. We did have a lot of fun and I know other parents take kids out for trips to Mexico and what not, so it isn’t too bad is it???

I meant to take a lot more and better pictures, but…… here is all I got!!!

And now as my friend Lizzie said last night - time for Christmas!!!!

STUFF!!

2011-10-31T08:40:00.000-06:00

Saturday morning I woke up with the burning desire to tackle my basement!! I keep waiting for it to be renovated, but it hit me – why am I waiting??? After spending four hours down there (less than I expected) I had a truck load (literally) full of garbage and empty boxes and a room about a quarter full of stuff to give away!!! All that and the storage area is still full and there is still plenty of stuff down there!

Sometimes I am so sickened by stuff!!! There were toys and what not that the girls had never even opened. Colouring books untouched!!! On and on!

This song keeps playing in my head! I have it on my i-pod and will for sure be playing it today while I prepare a haunting Halloween dinner!!!!

“Stuff” By Diamond Rio
Catalogs fillin' up the mailbox
Home shopping on the cable box
And www dot
Oh there's no escape
Delivery truck coming up 'round the bend
Beep, beep, beep, just backing in
Sign here and here and here again
'Cause it's no money down no payments till
Your whole place is cram packed filed with

Chorus
Stuff (stuff) stack it on stack it on up
(Stuff) never gonna ever get enough (stuff)
Oh it's treasure till it's mine then it ain't worth a dime
It's stuff (stuff) spreading like weeds
Dragging me under in an endless sea of stuff
(Stuff) There ain't no end
Got to get a bigger place so I can move in
More stuff

It's getting late but it's alright
The get-it-all mart opened up all night
You can catch it all with a quick swipe
It's easier everyday
Suv's and mini vans
Parading 'round in caravans
Toting off more than their tires can stand
'Cause it's no money down no payments till
Every square inch of the whole world's filled with

Chorus

(Bridge)
Drag it in, pack it in
The man with the most
He just wins more stuff

Thankful Heart - List of Five

2011-10-27T09:04:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was a long day. Not because anything bad happened, in fact in that respect it was a good day. Just a lot to do and it took a lot of hours.

Despite that, this morning I am filled with gratitude. So here is a list of five – what I am grateful for today.

1.That we CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens us – this was my mantra yesterday and is this morning – it is so super cool when circumstance makes this truth so very obvious in your own life.

2.That prayers of restoration can be quickly answered – I am really spoiled when I wake up in the morning I almost always feel really great, rested and happy, this morning I felt a lot more like a pile of dirt. Tired, foggy, aches and pains – yuck! – some time praying, reading a small bit of the word and a shower and I felt almost as good as new.

3.Our expectations of people can be too low – sounds like a funny thing to be thankful for, but all of my co-workers had a long day too and to be honest I expected a drug out, blah atmosphere at work – that is not what I got – everyone is cheerful and upbeat and smiling. I am so thankful for who I work with.

4.Dean Martin – driving to work listening to his greatest hits was like a big warm bath, filled me with so much joy and relaxation I can’t quite describe it.

5.Sunrises and how they never lose their splendour – you see them all the time and everyday they are a banner to how great our Maker is. Love them!!!!

6.Sorry gotta make this a list of six – super thankful for a four day work week – this is my Friday! Hooray!!!

SURPRISE PARTY!!!!

2011-10-25T11:00:00.002-06:00

This post is loooong overdue!!!

In August my baby sister turned 30.

Sadly my sister has been short changed in the birthday department.

First she always followed me by ten and half months. With siblings of a normal age gap, friends and family have time to work up excitement and enthusiasm for the next birthday party. Sadly this was not the case with us. Each party always had an undertone of déjà vu.

As we aged the situation got worse. Her 18th birthday was marred by a series of unfortunate events and then on her 21st birthday when a huge party in the local community hall was planned our grandmother who had suffered with Alzheimers for 17 years passed away. So instead of celebrating with a big number of friends and family she spent her 21st birthday giving a beautiful eulogy.

My sister isn’t the kind to take this kind of thing lying down and so for her 25th she planned an unforgettable event, full of love, laughter and joy – her wedding day. It was and will be a birthday she will always remember with fondness – thank God!

Still….. I had a heart’s desire to try to throw her an all time great 30th birthday!!

I am so blessed because so many people jumped on board with me. It took a lot of coffee sessions, piles of dedicated hours of work, a bunch of folks throwing in cash, some clever diversion tactics, but we did pulled it off! We managed to surprise her like crazy!!

My dear friend Multi Purpose Momma and her photography company Milestone Moments took all the great shots and really captured the day!!!

The attempt was to make it classy with a Sex In The City feel to it.

* Each lady got a handmade purse with three handmade blank gift cards as a favour. We rented black martini glasses to make the table POP!

*The Ice Sculpture - this sure made a statement!!!

*Little Sis and my Sister's Mother In Law made this beautiful cake - the shoe on top was my gift to My Sister (I wrapped the other one - so she was like Cinderella)

* Sweetgrass Cafe out of Trochu, Alberta did a BEAUTIFUL job catering!!

*Big Sis helping me fill champagne glasses! Don't worry she wasn't drinking it!!!

*We really wanted this kept a secret! The back of the invitations were stamped! It was pretty cool!

*The invites were a pull out type so IF my sister had seen one sitting on a counter or stuck to a fridge she wouldn't have known right away what it was for.

*Little Sis waiting.......

SUPRISE!!!!!

Guests!

CAKE TIME!

Concern VS. Judgement

2011-10-24T10:00:00.000-06:00

Last evening I prayed. I prayed because I was concerned. I wasn’t sure something was wrong, no direct need had been expressed to me, but I felt based on observation that someone I knew was suffering.

As I prayed it came to me that concern is a very close cousin to judgment.

In this case I am referring to the word judgement in a negative implication. I am not referring to the type of judgement that leads us to form our basic opinions (discernment). I am not but I am talking about judging others – the kind of judgment spoken of in Luke 6:37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven”

We are not a person’s judge and jury – it is not our place to determine if a person is acting right or wrong and we aren’t suppose to sit and ponder someone critically.

I believe we are to be concerned about one another. I believe that God brings people to our minds and hearts and we are to lift our concerns to The Lord.

That being said, I think I was being told last night that concern can often mask judgment. That we can justify our judgements by twisting them into concern.

I don’t have this concept all worked out yet. I wouldn’t usually even share something like this until I had a better grasp on what it meant, looked like and how it affected my life.

I don’t even have clear discernment on it yet. I would suppose that because this concept came to mind I was in fact judging rather than being concerned. Although I have to say it doesn’t really feel like I was judging (in the negative sense).

Then again our feelings are stupid. I am led to share these thoughts with all of you. I don’t know why since they are so convoluted. Perhaps this is something one of you has “figured” out already??? Perhaps you can shed some further insight to it??? Perhaps it is a word spoken to me that needs to be shared with someone else????

Who knows? Frankly I hate posting such vague thoughts, but here it is. Judge away!!!

Sunday Chuckle!

2011-10-23T08:58:00.000-06:00

This made me smile!

The Power of Words.... What We Say Makes A Difference!!!

2011-10-21T09:36:00.000-06:00

I like to talk. I like to talk a lot.

My folks always joked I was just like my grandfather, if I ran out of things to say I would read out loud just to hear the sound of my own voice.

My mouth has got me in trouble on more than one occasion.

When it comes to me and children I just talk like I always do. I rarely edit subjects or thoughts that come into my head. (Obviously this is tempered by common sense and there are some things I wouldn’t talk to a child about in the same way there are some topics I wouldn’t get into with a co-worker.)

It is a VERY common occurrence that the girls or other kidlets will stop me and ask what a word means. I am lazy and just say whatever word comes to my brain; I never attempt to find a simpler alternative.

Like with so many things in life, I think this method has its good points and bad points.

So enough with the background information and onto my story!

Little Sis started dating a boy up the street. A nice boy who both hubby and I liked. He is a year younger than her. Obviously neither of us were super keen with our grade sixer dating – however we figured that it would hopefully be harmless enough and prayed the “dating” would consist of little more than their usual hanging out with some hand holding and maybe a peck or two added???

Little Sis spends a lot of time perched on a stool listening to me ramble while I putter in the kitchen. One day I rambled about how kids were always in such a hurry to grow up, inviting adult problems early by doing adult things like dating. That it made no sense to me because you are an adult for such a long time and a kid for so short of a period. Why rush it???

This thought was one of many and I told it with no real intention, in fact I wasn’t really thinking of her, it was just a general thought.

A bunch of days passed. One night at the dinner table, Little Sis proclaimed, “Thanks a lot Miss J for getting inside my head!”

I was confused and asked what she meant.

She told me she broke up with little boy up the street because she couldn’t stop thinking how she has such little time to be a kid.

Huh……………

Well that worked out well. Don’t you love it when something works out well and you really never had a plan???

Now looking back on it, I don’t think this situation would have played out the same if hubby and I freaked out and told her she was much too young to date little boy up the street.

This situation affirmed two valuable lessons – God has a way of taking care of things and our words our powerful, perhaps I shouldn’t be throwing them around without intention or thought!!!!!

My Bonus Mom! Taking the Step out of Stepmom. By Tami Butcher.

2011-10-20T09:42:00.000-06:00

This book is not on my reading list. It was sent to me to review.

“In rhythmic verse, My Bonus Mom! Taking the Step out of Stepmom, shows children of divorced families that a positive attitude can lead to a happy outcome and spring open their hearts and minds to accept their own “bonus moms.” It captures the mixed emotions that surge through young children as they deal with divorce and adjust to remarriage. The children work through their feelings of dismay, fear and anger, and grow to love dad’s new wife, whom they come to think of as their “bonus mom.” Twice the attention, twice the love, twice the fun and twice as many birthday presents! What’s not to love?”

We sat after dinner one day and as a family read through this delightful book.

Well actually Little Sis read it to us, in the cutest little voice that had has all in stitches!!

I love that this book was written with children in mind. The illustrations and flow of the book appeal to children yet don’t skirt around the hard issues. Big Sis couldn’t believe that the word “divorce” was used, but that is the facts, it doesn’t change the situation to omit the word.

I have been so blessed that the girls have basically always seen me as a bonus mom and not an evil stepmother – right from day one they embraced me.

I know many stepparents are not nearly as fortunate. I think this book is an excellent teaching tool, helping everyone make the transition better. Even given our situation I would have loved to have had this book when hubby and I got engaged.

I love that Tami Butcher is doing what she can to change the face of stepmom – for too many years it has been all misrepresented. Stepmom’s are evil creatures determined to ruin their stepchildren’s lives! I love that her goal is to eliminate the word “step” and replace it with “bonus” – bonus mom, bonus daughter, bonus son!

I am struggling with what to do with this book now that I’ve reviewed it and read it. I don’t know anyone to pass it on to. Do any of you have any suggestions? Anyone you think I should send it to? Comment and help me make a decision!!!

Tami Butcher is from Arizona and grew up with her very own “bonus mom”. Her goal is to plant seeds in children’s minds and hearts that they might grow to accept their parent’s new spouses instead of automatically thinking of them as evil. Tami Butcher is a philanthropic person, involved in many worthwhile causes. She has agreed to be a guest blogger here at Just Your Everyday Blessed So and So. This is VERY exciting as this blessed so and so has never had a guest blogger. Stay tuned to hear what wonderful topic she is going to discuss!!!!!

Profound Happiness

2011-10-19T09:46:00.000-06:00

I read a fiction book a while ago and there was a conversation between a man and a woman shortly before the woman died.

She told the man she was afraid and when he asked why, her response was that she was so profoundly happy that she was sure it was about to end.

This bit has played over and over in my mind. First I love the word “profound” – I looked up the definition and the one that best fits when speaking of happiness is; “originating in or penetrating to the depths of one’s being.” Now THAT is happy.

The philosophy that a person is only allowed a specific degree of happiness before it is stolen away is NOT one I care to embrace.

Still…..

It played over and over – a CD scratched and skipping in my head.

The truth is whether I chose to embrace this concept or not, I had already bought into it. I was afraid that perhaps intense joy was only allowed for a season, that inevitably it would be extinguished.

So what do you do when operating from this belief? Well you have to cap the joy. You go into protection mode, if you are feeling too happy you take a deep breath and step away. I usually did this when the icy cold hands of fear wrapped around my heart. What if I lost someone I loved? What if something awful happens? What will I do?

On Saturday as I puttered in my room God spoke to me. Not in the burning bush sort of speaking, but just a deep knowledge, a quiet, but firm voice from within.

“Is this who you think I am?”

Talk about taking your breath away……

Do I really believe in a God that only wants me to be a certain level of joyful? That too much joy is grounds for punishment??? That surely if I am too happy God will be quick to put me in my place???

Is this the God I love? Is this my Lord and Saviour???

Of course that isn’t who God is! We are to be content in ALL things. Our happiness does not come from circumstance; it comes from Him and therefore cannot be taken away. God loves us, Jesus Christ died so we might experience all the glorious benefits of His kingdom. ALL of the benefits, not just salvation, but ALL of them, this includes joy!!!

I really think the devil is wily with his lies and deception. I think he meets us where we are. I have come a long way from a person guided by circumstance, waiting for everything to be perfect before I experienced happiness. I’m not where Paul was, but I’m not where I used to be. I believe that the devil recognized this and figured if he couldn’t get me with circumstance he would lie to me. He would tell me that I am only allowed to be so happy and then Murphy’s Law would kick in.

What a horrible, awful deception! What a ghastly, repulsive representation of our Lord!!!!!

So I AM profoundly happy! I am joyful and I am NOT afraid! He will keep me and never forsake me. I do NOT have a vengeful God!!!!!

Deep breath…………. Freedom………………………………………………………..Praise God!

Love......

2011-10-18T14:24:00.000-06:00

“I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough..”

The Notebook. – Nicholas Sparks

What if you woke up today with only what you thanked God for yesterday?

2011-10-14T09:11:00.002-06:00

I read this on a fellow blog.

I love it. I cannot say how much I love it!

It is now the wallpaper on my desk top and plays in my head over and over again.

I am thankful for so many things. I think most of the time I have an attitude of gratitude. Still so many things I take for granted. Still so many moments I let pass by without cherishing.

I think this “question” will help me to stay more on track.

I need to find a plaque with it written so I can post it in my house.

Bird Cloud, By Annie Proulx – 2 out of 5 Blessed So and So Smiles

2011-10-13T10:40:00.000-06:00

So this book was disappointing to me. The book is promoted as a “fascinating and moving take on building a house of one’s own.”

It starts out just like that. It is a memoir with a twist. You do get a lot of insight into Proulx as a person, but that is not the focus of the novel. The focus is her building a dream home in a dream location. How she describes her plans and the piece of land she buys is exquisite, it captured me immediately and I really enjoyed the novel.

Then……

It just seemed to go on and on. It felt to me that as I got farther in it became more repetitive and less interesting. I made it about three quarters of the way through and then I quit. Remember I have that strict rule that life is too short to read a book I’m not enjoying.

Since I didn’t completely finish this book I can’t speak to the ending or how Proulx wrapped it all up. I do wonder if she didn’t do it fantastically considering how well the book started. I wonder this a little bit, not enough to go back and find out.

Now in Annie Proulx’s defense this book may just have jumped into my life at the wrong time. Considering we have been undergoing a major home renovation for over a year, it is possible that the pains she was describing were hitting just a little too close to home. I mean realistically when you are dealing with contractors and budgets in real life, it doesn’t take long to get tired of reading about it right?

My overall summary of this book is I wasn’t thrilled, but others may think differently, it might be worth checking out and perhaps you would love it!!!

Lesson Learned…

2011-10-12T09:29:00.002-06:00

So my Thanksgiving Weekend was for the most part delightful. The food was great, the family was delightful. The relaxing was enjoyed.

However there was one aspect to the weekend that I found draining. I didn’t hate it, but it seriously wore me out. I battled with a headache all weekend and felt drug out.

By yesterday my body had revolted – every core of me was exhausted and my head and stomach raged! I spent most of the day sleeping. I knew all weekend the pinpoint of my problem. I was struggling though. I do believe and have been trying to live my life by what God doesn’t call us to do he doesn’t cover. However I had serious trouble justifying that this “thing” would be something God would want me to say no to.

Then yesterday it hit me.

There is an edge of difficulty to the situation. I knew that going in. However I did feel that it was for sure the right thing to do which is why I did it.

Here was where I think I was off base.

There were way too many “I’s” and not enough God.

I often tell myself “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I often pray for help in situations. However most of these utterances are short blips throughout a normal day. This method seems to be working because I almost always feel a large anointing on my days – I feel like I find favour wherever I go.

That being said, most of day to day comings and goings aren’t all that taxing. There isn’t a lot that comes up that is unusual or especially difficult.

So here I spent a weekend in a more difficult situation, which I knew was coming and I did nothing to prepare. I knew that my resources were going to be drawn and drawn and drawn from. I knew that over and over little things would be asked of me that weren’t handy to grab for in my nature. I knew all this and I spent no time filling up.

When you put it that way it sure sounds like a special kind of stupid, doesn’t it??

I often shake my head at how thoughtless and without purpose I can be. I am dumbstruck I can miss such simple lessons. I am smiling that I think I finally got it. I look forward to the situation coming up again and seeing if preparation will make all the difference!

Canadian - American Differences......

2011-10-07T14:57:00.000-06:00

My guess is that a lot of the folks that read this blog aren’t Canadian.

I don’t put a lot of thought into the fact that many readers may be American. Most of the time I think that there really aren’t all that many differences between Americans and Canadians. Then again I have never lived in the US and maybe there are more than I think.

What got me thinking about this topic was I went to wish a lady who commented on my blog Happy Thanksgiving.

You see today I am dreaming of a long weekend full of family and delicious food! I can hardly wait! I actually started to type the wish and realized that it likely isn’t Thanksgiving for her…… huh. I wonder what other differences there are that I can think of.

Before I go forth exploring this topic – I do want to extend a very warm wish to all my fellow Canucks – Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

Now to name some of the differences…..

Canadians love everything about “u” – we love the letter so much we throw it into any word we can get away with! You know – neighbour, favour, honour, colour, dialogue, catalogue – that sort of thing. Oh yes and then there is “er” we prefer it “re” like in centre and theatre. We like to use “ce” instead of “se” in words like defence and offence.

Our “paper” money doesn’t start until you reach the denomination of 5. Instead of a one and two dollar bill we have coins which we refer to as Loonies and Toonies. In fact I know a lot of Americans think our money looks like monopoly money because it is all colour coded – blue fives, purple tens, green twenties, red fifties and brown hundreds.

I know there are many “government” differences, I don’t pretend to know them all, but I do know that Canadians have; provinces & territories instead of states, a prime minister instead of a president, and a parliamentary system instead of a presidential system.

In Canada we have a “zed” at the end of our alphabet while Americans have a “zee”. We have highways not freeways. I’ve heard that Americans don’t have couches or toques???? That fries are chips and pop is soda????

I’ve also hear that Americans don’t have ketchup chips, homo milk, house coats, poutine, double doubles, kerfuffle’s, or toboggans????? Could this all be true?????

I know sometimes the world likes to make fun of us Canadians – what’s up with that, eh??

The Fates Will Find Their Way, By Hannah Pittard – 3 out of 5 Blessed So and So Smiles.

2011-10-06T09:16:00.001-06:00

I liked this book.

I didn’t love it, but I for sure liked it.

It is a story centred on how the disappearance of a teen girl affects a whole suburb. The story is told from the perspective of the boys in the neighbourhood. Which boy is telling the story changes often and it isn’t always clear who is speaking at a given time, however this doesn’t seem to matter. The story still flows well and is easy to understand.

The book really centres on the fact that in the suburbs these sort of events are so rare and that people obsess about them and talk and talk and talk. That the stories told to each other in basement rec rooms become so huge, they take on a life of their own. There are entire sections dedicated to what might have happened to Nora, the missing gal. Where she might be now and what she might be doing? It is written as if these accounts are fact. I like how the author did this, since that is the reality of community gossip. What starts as a notion soon evolves into certainty.

The disappearance of one of their own haunts the boys into manhood and they are still talking and speculating among themselves.

This book really delves into what lies beneath suburbia what is going on with the children behind the white picket fence.

It is well written and I did really enjoy it. I can’t pin point why I didn’t love, love, love it. I suppose it just wasn’t a story that my soul grabbed onto, but still I enjoyed this read and am once again glad for my list – I know I never would have picked this novel up otherwise.

A Deep Breath and A Whisper of Thanks......

2011-10-01T11:27:00.004-06:00

Today I am 31.

As I lay in bed last night I reflected on my 30th year.

I went month by month; I only made it till December and then fell into a deep slumber.

I picked up my reflection this morning in the shower.

It’s been a good year. A blessed year.

I feel I have grown more in this year then perhaps any other, excluding I’m sure my first.

I used to look at people with envy that seemed so comfortable in their own skin, those that moved with sureness. My youthful brain concluded that it was because they had something I lacked; a size six body, beauty that was envied by others or lots of money.

This year I found out that was wrong.

It isn’t about what you have and what you don’t have. It’s something that comes from within.

I liked being 30. I liked it a lot.

I’m looking forward to this decade. I am expecting many good things. I intend to learn a lot. I intend to keep growing. My hope is that at 40 I will look back at my 30th year with fondness, but chuckle at how little I knew, how very few revelations I had received.

Yesterday was my only September 30th, 2011 and it was my last chance to be 30. It was a good day. It was a good ending. Today is my only October 1st, 2011 and it is my first day to be 31. I’m excited about what is planned for me this year.

Am I Normal or Obsessive??????

2011-09-24T14:04:00.000-06:00

I posted a wee bit ago about life being short. I think it is. I think that every single thing we choose to do with our time is a trade off, you have to decide if what you are trading is worth it.

Naturally when thinking of this fleeting lifetime I ponder how I spend my time. Now I know that there are a great deal of people that spend as little time as possible cleaning. I totally see these people’s point, for myself I see cleaning as a worthwhile trade off. I don’t hate it and the satisfaction I get once it is done is totally worth the time spent doing it.

I have always considered myself an average cleaner with some areas below par, for instance I have to be the world’s worst sweeper and mirror polisher!

A couple of months ago hubby was working in several different people’s homes and told me that out of 12 houses only two were clean. This surprised me. Almost everyone I know has a clean house and so I would have thought you would find two dirty houses. I found this news so surprising that I shared it with anyone that would listen. Most people figured that hubby’s standards of clean were too high and that I must be obsessive. They all described things that you would find in their home with a surprise visit that in truth you would rarely see in my home. Still I don’t feel obsessive, I feel normal.

I have areas that I am picky about and then other areas that are in total shambles!

Normal being relative I did seek out a second opinion – hubby’s, who whole heartedly agreed I was not obsessive and just kept a decent home. Now I am thinking perhaps my second opinion wasn’t all that impartial. So I am posing the question to the blogosphere.

Obviously most of you haven’t been to my home and even if you have been it likely wasn’t a surprise visit. Which in all fairness is what we are talking about here – what your home looks like on a day to day basis when there is no company. So I figure the best way to present it to you is to outline the time I do spend on “housework” and let you be the judge. Am I normal or obsessive???

I would say on an average day I spend between an hour or two on maintenance. This would include tiding, making beds, picking up after the kids, doing, folding and putting away one load of laundry, touching up my bathroom, dishes and sweeping. Mid week I change and wash bathroom towels. Once a week I take anywhere from two to four hours (depending on my get up and go) doing a “big” clean, which includes fridge, kitchen, bathroom, vacuuming, mopping, garbages, laundry and dusting. I change beds every other week unless something unusual happens and I iron as needed. My “bigger” fall and spring cleans where you do all the nitty gritty jobs are hit and miss and I don’t have set schedule.

Now to me this is normal. I consider myself a decent housekeeper who keeps a nice enough house, not obsessive.

What do you think???

List of Five - Things I ALWAYS Put Off!

2011-09-21T09:32:00.002-06:00

Okay this is actually a list of six.....

1. Making appointments – doctor, dentist etc.
2. Yard work
3. Picking up the mail
4. Brushing Cash (our pup)
5. Returning Phone Calls
6. Pictures - taking, organizing, printing, scrap booking etc. etc.

To Kill a Mocking Bird, By Harper Lee – Five out of Five Blessed So and So Smiles

2011-09-20T11:17:00.000-06:00

I know most of you have likely already read this book, but I had not.

It was never required to read in school or if it was I faked my through it and never actually read it! (Not that I would EVER do that!!!)

It was never on my want to read list before, I suppose I am pretty skeptical of what folks rant and rave about, especially when it comes to books and movies. Predominantly when I have heard something is a must watch or a must read I end up disappointed.

However it was on the list of books I found and I had never read it so I added it to my list and I'm so glad I did!

This is such a great book!!! I love how it depicted small town life and even being set many decades ago I still found the small town aspect so easy to relate to.

The other thing I loved was the perspective it was told from. I love how everything was seen through the eyes of Scout, a young girl.

I actually found it had a very similar feel to, A Time to Kill, By John Grisham, but told from an entirely different perspective which just made it delightful!!!

I really, really enjoyed this “classic” and am glad I waited till I was 30 to read it, I don’t know if I would have enjoyed it so much when I was 16!!

Intention.... Perspective...... Now........

2011-09-19T09:41:00.000-06:00

There are so many books out there and experts who talk the talk – be present, the power of intention, change your perspective, change your life.

With so much out there shouldn’t there be happier people???

Obviously society is hungry for these messages. Did people of days gone by just know how to do these things without being taught??? Or is this really something revolutionary???

I wonder.

It has all become so very new agey, but I have to say I agree, mostly.

I was born with a sense of urgency. Life is whipping by at lightning speed. Time is so short. Every moment matters and you can’t get back today.

I do wish all of these concepts came as easy as breathing. I pray one day they will be that automatic.

For today it does take conscious thought.

I want my intention of every day to be; This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

- I bolded the word will because if that isn’t a word illustrating intention I don’t know what is????

I want my perspective to directly flow from this intention.

I want to soak up this second, this minute, including the struggles and hardships. I don’t want to desire to rush through and climb this hurdle. Today is the only September 19th, 2011 I will ever get. This is my one opportunity to have these exact experiences, these exact joys and stresses. I want to rejoice in all of it.

I want to always remember that this is what I want.

I’m not “there” yet, but I’m working on it.

Thanks Ma for the coffee yesterday, for the great discussion, for reminding me of what it’s all about!

Staying At Home Vs. Working Outside The Home.....

2011-09-16T10:30:00.000-06:00

I find with posting it is a feast or famine situation. I am either brimming to the overfull point with ideas and topics to develop or am completely dried out and have not one thing to discuss or share.

Currently I am at the brimming to overfull stage. I have a running list of ideas and topics I wish to discuss. Often I don’t have the time to really think and develop these ideas which is why I thank God for inventions like; Wordless Wednesday, List of Fives or Book Reviews. I can still post and stay connected without spending the time it takes to develop a “topic” post.

However today is a glorious Friday off. The girls are in school, the hubby is at work and although I do have a list of things I am going to do I also have the time to write a more in depth post. I like this a lot, but then I was faced with a conundrum which of my ideas do I want to write about??? They are all unrelated and cannot be rolled into one post so I needed to choose one.

I have big troubles making decisions…. it’s a curse.

For those of you that believe in astrological tendencies I suppose I could blame it on being a Libra – indecisiveness is a classic Libra trait. I am also a people pleaser by nature which often produces individuals who are no good at nailing something down. Whatever the reasons are it is what it is and I have spent an hour reading other lovely posts while I pondered what to write about.

I decided on the topic of staying at home vs. working outside the home. I thought it appropriate since I am on my day off and am today a stay at home mom.

Lately I have had some ponderings regarding this topic. None of my ponderings address the big society question of which type of mom makes a better parent? I believe there are far too many factors that dictate what a good parent is and you cannot pin something so huge to the choice of working or not working. So this post will not in any way address this big question.

What I have been pondering lately is the choice part of it.

I do believe it is a choice in many circumstances. Of course it isn’t for those that are single parents or where the father is ill or something like that. However in what I will loosely call a nuclear family situation I do think it is a choice.

I often think about myself that I have to work to make ends meet. Now this isn’t entirely untrue. My income does not provide what society would consider luxuries. We are not banking my money and going on big vacations, it doesn’t go to a payment on some lavish high end vehicle. No it helps to cover what most people, us included consider basics.

That being said if we break down what actual basics are could we live on just hubby’s income? Yes I suppose we could. We could live in a cheaper home or in our case have left our house the way it was and not renovated and added to the mortgage. We could have only one vehicle if I stayed home and didn’t work. We could never eat out, never camp, never buy extras like candles, we could always shop in second hand clothing stores and even then only when it is necessary, we could not put the girls in any extracurricular activities and I do mean any, hubby would be very limited with hunting, I could not make unnecessary trips burning gas to have coffee, Christmas and birthday gifts would be very minimal and I am doubtful we would be able to afford to purchase gifts for those outside of the immediate family. I could go on but you get the picture. Yes on hubby’s income we could keep a roof over our head, food in the fridge, pay utilities, have one means of transportation and put the girls in school, but that is about it. I suppose with some careful budgeting we could add a few of the items off the extra list occasionally, but I know it would be occasional and only a few. The only way we would be able to maintain the “luxury” lifestyle we lead now would be to use credit and I cannot justify that decision because it would catch up to us in the end. There is no way that choice is sustainable.

All that being said hubby and I choose for me to work. We choose the sacrifices that go with that so that we can add the list of extras to our lifestyle. I honestly don’t know if this is the right or wrong choice. If something devastating was to happen that could directly be linked to me working would I say that having the girls take piano lessons and play soccer was worth that trade? No way. Do I know something devastating will happen because of this choice? No. Do I know something devastating will not happen? No. Every single decision we make is a trade off. There is no way around it. Life has risks and unknowns.

I am blessed that I have a job that I love and excites me. I work with amazing people and have an amazing boss that recognizes the importance of family and does not require me to sacrifice them for work. These blessing make the choice to work much easier.

I would be kidding myself if I said there were no sacrifices. Of course there are. I am able to get the girls up and off to a good start in the morning, but I am not there to kiss them good bye. They are alone after school for a bit of time before hubby gets home and a good hour and a half before I do. I spend a portion of every evening maintaining my house and preparing lunches and supper and all that jazz. I spend a portion of my days off cleaning house, doing yard work and that sort of thing. I don’t do all of the things for the girls that my mom was able to do for me. I don’t spend much time relaxing or on myself. Of course there are sacrifices. We are pretty balanced, but never the less.

Now here is the big question I have been pondering. Would I stay home if we could have the same lifestyle? I don’t know.

I really do like my job; I do find fulfillment and a sense of accomplishment. My job excites me and I don’t dread going. At the same time I really like my days at home and love spending time with hubby and the girls. When I take a week off work and spend it being at home, accomplishing lots here I sincerely enjoy that time and it always goes too fast.

It is easy to say I choose to work because I want to help give my family the extras that society has said aren’t really extras. However maybe I would choose to work just because I like working?????

I don’t suppose this pondering really means anything. It isn’t profound or life changing. Unless of course hubby’s income was suddenly to double. Mmmmmm…. Wouldn’t that be nice? Perhaps I would change my tune pretty quick if that happened!!!!

Kind of A Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-14T09:39:00.000-06:00

I don't typically do "Wordless Wednesday", but here is a mostly photo post.

Most won't understand the significance behind these pictures, but let’s just say our God is a REALLY BIG God and what He can do is so amazing that it stuns you into utter reverence.

These pictures just look like a bunch of family members having fun at a cousin’s surprise birthday, however it is sooo much more than that. As little as a year ago everyone would have thought these pictures would have been impossible and I am convinced without God they would have been. He has the power to move in people’s hearts, to make the impossible possible and to mend ties so broken no man could have ever put them back together. Awesome……

I Like This A Lot............

2011-09-12T09:43:00.000-06:00

“I’m in trouble, she said
to him. It was the first
time in history that anyone
had ever spoken of me.
It was 1932 when she was
just fourteen years old
and men like him
worked all day for
one stinking dollar.” Alden Nowlan

I don’t really know why I like it so much it has a profoundly heartbreaking feel to it. I can’t quite place my finger on what it is about this that jumped at me and why I wanted to share it, all I know is that it did and I am.

* On a side note, my weekend that I was sooooo looking forward to turned out fantastic! Hope you all had a great one too!

List of Five – Things I’m Looking Forward To This Weekend

2011-09-09T09:24:00.001-06:00

1. Date Night With Hubby!
2. Breakfast with The Ladies!
3. Picnic with The Mother In Law!
4. Special Service at Church and Coffee before with Ma!
5. Birthday Party for Hubby’s Grandpa (of sorts) and his family!!!

Still Alice, By Lisa Genova – Five out of Five Blessed So and So Smiles.

2011-09-08T09:28:00.000-06:00

I adored this book!

Why is it the books we adore we fly through? I know the answer – you can’t put it down and find every spare moment to read, but it is still a fact that makes me sad. It’s just like life the more we want to savour something and really enjoy it the faster it goes!

This book is all about early onset Alzheimers – a topic very close to my heart.

My grandmother died from this disease after suffering for 17 years.

I love, love, love that this story is told from the voice of the person with the disease, it is such a unique perspective and of course is told in an odd way since as the book progresses Alice’s disease and perception of life progresses.

Even with the perspective being from the patient side of this horrible illness you still get a really great view of how it affects her loved ones. Often when someone has Alzheimers Disease people talk around them as if they aren’t there, this fact lends itself to Alice being a keen observer to conversations between those close to her which in turn gives the reader a bird’s eye view of how each individual handles it differently.

I won’t give anything away, but I liked how the author chose to end the book, I know my sister wished it had gone the other way. A couple of really great discussions between the two of us were sparked by our shared reading of Still Alice – another sign of a really great book!

I can’t go on enough about this book! Still Alice alone makes my reading list project totally worth it!!!

Remember When Screens Were Wire Mesh To Keep Out The Flies?????

2011-09-07T09:11:00.000-06:00

And not cell phones, computers, video games, tablets, ipods etc. etc. etc.

I heard the most interesting thing on the radio a couple of days ago.

The speaker was sharing how teens of today are under more stress because they never get a break from the teen drama.

I never considered this. I had thought how glad I was that there was no facebook or texting of blogging when I was in school, but I never pondered the fact that we all had a refuge away from the surreal teenage land. We could go home and be in our safe place away from it all.

Kids today are never away from it all; every “day off” they are in constant contact with the drama.

I have been tossing this around and contemplating what the long term consequences of this might be. I know there are the immediate consequences which is what the segment was addressing, higher teen suicide rates, increased drug and alcohol use etc. etc., but what about in the future??

I am wondering if this situation will create a generation addicted to drama???? You have all met “those” type of people. The “type” that really never stepped too far from high school, they thrive on drama and turmoil and are compelled to rock the boat when life gets too smooth, ordinary…. borrring!!!

Most of us grow past that, but was it only age that caused us to move on or was it those quiet times of refuge???

I don’t know the answer to this – do you have any thoughts???

As an added note, as I wrote this it occurred to me that really a lot of us adults are in the same situation. Most of us aren’t surrounded by drama and turmoil, but none the less we never turn off either. We are constantly connected and tuned in….. This can’t be ideal. You need breaks, you also need compartmentalized time. I know I am always multi-tasking – doing, talking thinking about home things at work and then doing, talking, thinking about work things at home……. Mmmmmmmm….. more thoughts for me to ponder.

Pondering...... Again.....

2011-09-01T15:49:00.003-06:00

Lately I have been looking forward a lot; some of my posts reflect this. I’ve been thinking of God’s plans for me, pondering what they are, how big or small they are and all of that jazz……

Of late there have been people surrounding me, some close, some not so close that are experiencing some pretty big life events – death, job loss, big marriage troubles, illness, foreclosure, very sick children and so on and so forth. I have tried to be broad to protect the ~~guilty~~ innocent – so if you know me in “real” life don’t start trying to figure out who I know that fits into which category – the truth is some of the categories are random and apply to no one.

This morning as I put myself in other folks shoes, I imagined myself heading along a path, perhaps cresting some hill about to clearly see some large, meaningful, incredible plan and then suddenly the road falls away and now I am forced to figure out how to bridge the gap!!!!

How often does this happen to people??? Will it happen to me??? Are we all just waiting for the other shoe to drop???? Do most people miss out on what they are supposed to be doing because they are too busy dealing with stuff that is caused by this fallen world???? Do we ever find out where the path we are on is going????

So many questions, life’s uncertainty is so unnerving. I know that is where faith comes in. Life is what it is and ALL things work together for good for those that LOVE the Lord.

So if you love the Lord then your path is constantly intertwining with His as things work together for good. Even if you never bridge a gap and make it over the crest you have still accomplished something. Perhaps the desire to have some large plan is only our human delusions of grandeur?????

Oh I don’t know……

Confession of a Blessed So and So

2011-08-31T09:01:00.000-06:00

So I said I would give everyone an update about how Big Sis faired at camp.

I know I said I didn’t have my hopes up too high, but obviously I was mistaken. I had my hopes raised to an unrealistic level and although she had a good time she still came back a teenager???? Can you imagine that????? In fact it seemed that spending a week surrounded by a hundred teenagers all day and night actually made her come back as more of a teenager!!!! Who would have seen that coming???

I shake my head at myself sometimes. Why did this not occur to me? Why did I think that a week at camp would suddenly rewind or fast forward time???

My expectations were set so high and my disappointment so sizeable that for two days following her return all of her normal teenage behaviour took on a life of its own and seemed magnified. The tid bits of irritating behaviour fell onto the pit of disappointment inside me and grew like an extraterrestrial ball of slime until……

I had a melt down on Sunday. The day of rest and relaxation……..

It sucks when that happens….. especially when you can see how silly it was – hind sight is always 20 – 20.

I want to beat myself up for it, especially since my family was so forgiving.

Beating myself up won’t help, I know this – I need to move on as Hubby is always telling me – why does that man have to be so smart all the time?????

I sure wasn’t acting like a blessed so and so, but rather like a spoiled brat.

Huh…. talk about humbling……….

Fall List of Five

2011-08-29T10:37:00.002-06:00

With summer vacation coming to a close (Wednesday the girls go back), I am feeling totally not ready for the hustle and bustle of school, the summer went too fast!! I am usually ready for the season change, but this year it feels like I was robbed of some precious time!!!

However life is all what you make it and so today’s list of five is five things I love about fall!

1.The colours, the earlier nights and smells!
2.Christmas is coming!!!
3.More me time since hubby has lots of hunting time.
4.I get most of my Fridays and Mondays off all to myself again – no more cleaning house around a bunch of people.
5.The extra kids in our house – sleepovers etc. gets much less in the school year and although I don’t mind having extras it is nice to have the four of us most of the time.

Happy 30th Birthday to My 1st Best Friend!!!

2011-08-26T09:39:00.000-06:00

Hope you have an amazing day Little Sis!!! Love you more than words could ever say. My world was blessed the day you were brought into it and since I was only around eight weeks old when you were conceived I sure didn’t have to wait long for a HUGE blessing!!!! Today is your day – your birthday and your anniversary – enjoy it! Looking forward to annoying EVERYONE for the next five weeks with our rant. “How old are you???” “I’m 30 and how old are you??” “30!!!!” “Wow isn’t that strange!!!!” So hilarious to us still, got old for everyone else about 25 years ago!!!!

List of Five - What I like to do with my free time.

2011-08-25T09:17:00.002-06:00

5 things I love to do when I have “free” time:

1. Have Coffee – visit, visit, visit……
2. Read – especially on the deck or back patio
3. Watch shows I’ve recorded on the PVR
4. Loooong relaxing bubble bath with candles
5. Walk with hubby and the pup

Summer Camp

2011-08-24T09:26:00.000-06:00

Every year we send the girls to summer camp. It is a pretty large expense for our family. In fact the only reason we pull it off every year is because they kindly let us make monthly payments from January until July! I often question if it is really worth it?

This year when Little Sis returned from camp in July I stopped questioning and vowed once again to do whatever I can to make sure they go next year. Every year makes an impact, but this year seems to have been bigger than usual for Little Sis. She thrives when she is in the right environment with the right leaders. When I say thrives I mean it in every sense of the word. She is still exhibiting lessons learned and the growing up she did that week away.

As I type this Big Sis is away for a week. I’ve been praying it makes just as big of an impact on her. She is going through a big metamorphosis from junior high gal to high school gal. We’ve had a tough summer with her, she is making choices that are not especially smart and could be life altering. It is hard watching this and harder still not to crack the whip and enforce house arrest!!! Both hubby and I agree we need to keep her talking and she is for the most part and that is good.

It is strange looking at her, knowing she thinks she has it all figured out, seeing her break away from us and knowing that a mere fifteen years ago I was that gal (well I was a bit of a late bloomer so it is more like thirteen years ago). I know now how little I knew then. Of course my folks had the same perspective and they managed to let me grow and make my own choices, so I suppose we can do the same???

I have to say in my parenting time this is so far my least favourite!!! This too shall pass.

I don’t expect summer camp will be a cure all, but I do hope it is a bit of a turning point. Time will tell and I will keep you all updated.

Do you send your kids to camp? Did you go to camp? I didn’t, not because my folks wouldn’t have sent me, but because I didn’t want to. For me who gets super homesick and is not keen on structured activities every waking second it wouldn’t have been a good plan. It’s not for everyone, but the girls for sure benefit from it!!!

Brooklyn Story, By Suzanne Corso – 5 out of 5 Blessed So and So Smiles

2011-08-23T09:18:00.002-06:00

I could NOT put this book down!!!

I loved it! Loved, loved, loved it!!!

The story flowed and was captivating. A critic called this story, “…a female version of the movie Goodfellas.” – which is one of my all time favourite flicks!

In some ways it reminded me of Goodfellas, but it was definitely told more from the “good guys” perspective. It doesn’t glamorize the gangster life, in fact it is quite the opposite. Brooklyn Story is all about how a young girl struggles to rise above what surrounds her every day.

I would recommend this book to anyone who just longs to get wrapped up in a really great story. Corso’s character development is so incredible, I actually felt like I knew the characters personally!

So far as I make my way through my list of books to read, this is by far my favourite!!

The Empty Family, By Colm Toibin - 1 out of 5 Blessed So and So Smiles

2011-08-17T10:39:00.002-06:00

I have to say this book made me feel wholly backward and out of touch with what is considered normal today.

I started reading this collection of short stories, each one centred on relationships of different sorts and I fell in love with it. I raved to hubby how much I loved each and every story and how they were all so different, even set in completely different centuries. I loved the writing style and the subtle way that a lot was said with little words.

Then….

At some point in the book the short story was centred on two male lovers. It was more explicit then I might have liked, but I understood why it was included and didn’t mind reading it at all. Then the next short story was also about male lovers and so on and so forth.

I was confused – the short stories up to that point were all very different – they all centred on relationships but the relationships varied significantly.

I did keep reading because I had enjoyed the book so much to that point. When I finally go to the last story and it became evident it was the same as the last five, I closed the book and picked up a new one.

I know this makes me sound homophobic and red neck and right out of 1952. I don’t want to be your classic stereo type of small town – small mind. I don’t hate homosexuals, I do disagree with it based on religious views, but I don’t think they should be condemned any more than I should be condemned for some of my behaviours that don’t line up with The Word of God.

However I do have to be honest I wouldn’t have loved it if the other short stories were sexually explicit, but I would have been less bothered. Man that makes me sound like a bigot! I suppose to some extent I did grow up in a small town and I do have a small mind.

Either way I didn’t finish this book, however I would still give it a four out of five. It was well written and interesting and his take on different relationships was fascinating.

Enough......

2011-08-16T12:14:00.001-06:00

I stumbled upon this website.

http://soundcloud.com/shaungroves/sets/third-world-symphony

There is a song here by Shaun Groves.

I love it! In today’s world, when accumulation seems to be everyone’s goal all the while being everyone’s downfall. These are some good words to be pondering!!!!

Two things I beg of you
Before I die don’t refuse
Keep lies from my lips
And liars far from my midst
Please, don’t give to me
Wealth or poverty
God, I pray only for
Enough
Enough
God, only
Just enough
Rain more than this day’s bread
And I may say, “Who needs God?” And I may say I’m God instead
But take my crumbs away
And I may rob and wound your name
Please, don’t give to me
Wealth or poverty
God, I pray only for
Enough
Enough
God, only
Just enough

I Think I Love You, By Alison Pearson. 3 out of 5 Blessed So and So Smiles.

2011-08-15T09:34:00.001-06:00

This was the first book that I choose to read after assembling my reading project list.

Honestly I thought it was okay.

I did finish it and I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t find it enthralling and it certainly didn’t capture my attention. Although I have found several reviews online that disagree with me.

The story is about how a crush on David Cassidy shaped the life of a young girl. It is told from two perspectives and spans many years. The two perspectives are of course the girl with the crush and a young man working for a David Cassidy fan magazine.

I like the “idea” of this book and I like the insight it gives into the mind of a teenage girl and how she sees the world. I think Alison Pearson hit the nail on the head and I found myself more than once thinking this is so true!!! I also liked the ending, it was a feel good ending and it did really wrap the story up well and gave it all a really clear sense of purpose.

To be honest I can’t say one thing that I really hated about it. It just didn’t capture me and it did take me a while to read because it certainly wasn’t calling out to me.

The problem may lie in the fact that I have a teenage girl, fully wrapped in the whole teenage world. I love her and she is basically a good kid, but often times I get very tired of all that goes with a teenage girl. Perhaps for me this book was just a little too close to reality????

The List

2011-08-11T09:39:00.000-06:00

So a few posts back I said that I had stumbled on two lists of books and so to vary the type of books I read I decided to work my way through the lists. I had said it was a list of 70 books, I was guessing – not a bad guess because after typing this out I see it is 68. (I could be at this a long time!) I am not being super serious about it, in the sense that I don’t have a deadline and I don’t finish reading a bad book.

In high school I struggled through Tommy Knockers, by Stephen King. Normally I enjoy Stephen King, but Tommy Knockers was a different story I really disliked that book, however I felt committed. A handful of years later when the story came out about Stephen’s drug abuse he confessed that he didn’t recall writing Tommy Knockers!!! I could not believe I had wasted time reading a book the author didn’t even remember writing???? I decided then and there that life is too short to read a bad book. I give a book a chance, but if it becomes clear this book is NOT for me I quit.

So I will post reviews about the books I read, however I can’t promise I will have plugged through them all in their entirety (I will let you know if I quit and why). I am also not reading these in any set order, which ever ones on the list jump at me when it comes time to pick a new book is what I read. Anyways for today here is the list, I started this a couple of months ago so I have already read the first 7 - reviews to come!!

1. I think I love you, By Allison Pearson
2. The Empty Family, By Colm Toibin
3. Brooklyn Story, By Suzanne Corso
4. Bird Cloud, By Annie Proulx
5. The Fates Will Find A Way, By Hannah Pittard
6. How to Raise a Boyfriend, By Rebecca Eckler
7. Still Alice, By Lisa Genova
8. The Guardians, By Andrew Pyper
9. An Exclusive Love, By Johanna Adorjan
10. Left Neglected, By Lisa Genova
11. The Weird Sisters, By Eleanor Brown
12. You Know When the Men Are Gone, By Siobhan Fallon
13. A discovery of Witches, By Deborah Harkness
14. Twin, By Allen Shawn
15. As Always, Julia, By Joan Reardon
16. Luka and The Fire of Life, By Salman Rushie
17. The Emperor of all Maladies, By Siddhartha Mukherjee
18. My Family, A Symphony, By Aaron Eske
19. Rescue, By Anita Shreve
20. The Finkler Question, By Howard Jacobson
21. Pride and Prejudice, By Annabella Bloom
22. I Love Your Laugh, By Jessica Holmes
23. The Lucky Sperm Club, By Rebecca Eckler
24. The Shadow of The Wind, By Carlos Zafon
25. The Glass Castle, By Jeannette Walls
26. Under The Tuscan Sun, By Frances Mayes
27. The Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Pie Society, By Mary Ann Shaffer
28. Art of Racing in The Rain, By Garth Stein
29. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, By Michael Chabon
30. The Red Tent, By Anita Diamant
31. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, By Stieg Larsson
32. Sarah’s Key, By Tatiana de Rosnay
33. The Devil in The White City: Murder, Magic, and Maddness At The Fair That Changed America, By Erik Larson
34. The Forgotten Garden, By Kate Morton
35. Secret Daughter, By Shilpi S. Gowda
36. Three Cups of Tea, By Greg Morenson
37. The Passage, By Justin Cronin
38. The Book of Negroes, By Lawrence Hill
39. Water for Elephants, By Sara Gruen
40. The Pillars of The earth, By Ken Follett
41. The Catcher In The Rye, By J.D. Salinger
42. The Sweetness at The Bottom of The Pie, By Alan Bradley
43. The Postmistress, By Sarah Blake
44. The White Queen, By Philippa Gregory
45. Elegance of The Hedgehog, By Muriel Barbery
46. Life of Pi, By Yann Martel
47. To Kill a Mockingbird, By Harper Lee
48. My Sisters Keeper, By Jodi Picoult
49. The Alchemist, By Paulo Coelho
50. The Cellist of Sarajevo, By Steven Galloway
51. The White Tiger, By Aravind Adiga
52. The Big Short, By Michael Lewis
53. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, By Mark Haddon
54. The Golden Spruce: A True Story of Myth, Madness and Greed, By John Vaillant
55. The Perfect Storm, By Sebastian Junger
56. Into Thin Air: The Personal Account of The Mt. Everest Disaster, By Jon Krakauer
57. A Good Walk Spoiled: Days and Nights on the PGA Tour, By John Feinstein
58. One Day, By David Nicholis
59. The Happiness Project, By Gretchen Rubin
60. My Life in France, By Julia Child
61. A Thousand Splendid Suns, By Khaled Hosseini
62. Three Day Road, By Joesph Boyden
63. The Kite Runner, By Khaled Hosseini
64. Secret Life of Bees, By Sue Kidd
65. The Thirteenth Tale, By Diane Setterfeld
66. Memory Keepers Daughter, By Kim Edwards
67. The Birth House, By Ami Mckay
68. Outlander, By Diana Gabaldon

Has the World Actually Come to This????

2011-07-29T10:47:00.000-06:00

I should be better prepared for this post, but I believe you are all clever enough to get my point even if I can’t refer you to websites and give word for word play backs.

There is an ad that plays on one of the radio stations I listen to. A girl proclaims that she is going to single handily prove that man kind’s nature is good by holding the door open for someone. She then tells you the benefits of performing good deeds and directs you to a website.

No I don’t know the radio station or the website or exactly what the gal says, but I do know the thought that instantly jumped in my head.

“We live in a pretty sad world when a radio ad and website need to remind us to hold the door open for someone????”

Lazy Days of Summer!!

2011-07-27T09:37:00.000-06:00

I am filled with a strong thankfulness for the lazy days of summer! We spend ten months constantly scheduling, juggling, driving, spending, signing, lunch making and so on and so forth. For two beautiful months that all gets so much smaller. Of course just having children means that we all schedule, juggle, drive, spend, sign and make meals no matter what the time of year, however just doing it less is like a gift from God. I am not one of those parents that wishes school to start again in fact sometimes I think maybe the girls have learned enough and we can just call it quits????

I feel a bit bad for Hubby. Renovation, contractor and money woes have meant a much more low key summer for our family. Days off are spent working on the house or hanging out close by. We simply don’t have the time or funds to gallivant all over the province. He is doing so well with this and doesn’t seem grumpy and certainly isn’t hard to live with, I still know it is hard on him. Me? Well to tell you the truth in a way I have longed for a summer like this. A summer at home taking care of what we have, a summer not rushed from one activity to another. By nature I am a complete bore, content to read books, check off items on my To Do list, and visit with loved ones. I am missing fishing and kayaking. Two summer activities I do thoroughly enjoy, however summer isn’t over yet and I am confident that will be fit in a time or two.

In fact we did get our first fishing trip in on Saturday. A picture perfect day! We were blessed with the most perfect soccer watching weather and I was surrounded by family and friends, making a less than exciting game (we lost 7 – 1) supremely entertaining!!! I then spent a handful of lazy hours in the home I grew up in, visiting with the smartest woman I know – my Mom! We then had friends over for a good old Alberta dinner – steak, Caesar salad and baked spuds! Mmmmm…. the food and company were wonderful!! The rest of the evening was spent fishing – watching kids pull in trout, the smiles on their faces so huge that your heart couldn’t help but sing! Finally to wrap up the day we stopped on a road Hubby used to take me all the time when we dated to watch the fire flies dance!!!

Now seriously??? Does it get any better????

A Journey of A Thousand Miles……

2011-07-22T12:19:00.002-06:00

Arrogance has always been a struggle for me. I’m not sure if it is just human nature or if I can attribute it to a long list of relatives on both sides of the family, good people but many with a touch of an inflated ego. Or perhaps it is due to the fact that I am the type of person who has always been given large amounts of praise. My shortcomings are often not overtly obvious to those that don’t know me well – a blessing or a curse????

Looking back I can see how God has been working and how often times without realizing, I have been working against him. The great thing about Him is He doesn’t give up and little by little there have been some pivotal moments that have moved me along.

In my teens I recognized this very negative trait and although without conscious thought went to “work” correcting myself. I would go on long drives and agonize the reasoning behind my blessings. The certainty of my unworthiness of favour would repeatedly spin around my mind. I did recognize that these moments of agony were some what of a show – trying to prove my humble nature to God. I knew this to be true because although when faced with my many blessings I regularly asked God, “Why me? What did I do to deserve all this?” I was just as quick to ask the same questions when strive came my way.

Unfortunately the small awareness that illustrated how my actions were off base and ineffective did nothing to stop me from repeating them. This is one reason why God gave me such an amazing mother. She asked how I would feel if I gave someone a gift and every chance they got they cried out to me, asking why on earth I would give them something and how little they deserved it??? Now that point did have impact. She was also quick to point out that no one on this planet deserves gifts from God, we don’t earn them. They are given to us simply because He loves us.

So with pivotal moment number one done and a lesson learned I had it all figured out right???

I wish! I carried on for several years, every now and then slipping back to my old ways, questioning and agonizing. Then in the weeks before the girls moved in as I cleaned a urinal (God shows up everywhere hey?) it hit me that one reason I was blessed with such a great foundation was because God always knew He would call me to help the girls and He never calls us without equipping us. So part of my equipment was twenty five years on this earth with very little damage, and the establishment of a good strong foundation. I finally really understood that blessings have nothing to do with us, that it is all part of a much larger picture and from then on there I can say I stopped with the torment and torture of questioning what I ever did to deserve favour.

Pivotal moment number two done and again another lesson learned. So I should have been done with that and been able to move onto the next level right???

Wrong again! A couple of years ago on a day like any other day I had a long list of things I needed to get done before I had to dash out somewhere. The chores on my list all came easy and I had plenty of energy and accomplished each and every one. As I closed my front door leaving behind a nice, neat orderly kept home I felt pleased with a job well done. Then without conscious thought, I took note of the three foot high thistles in my front flower bed and said to myself, “Well the house might look good, but don’t forget what a shamble your yard is in.” This is when God stepped in, in a big way. I can’t explain it but I was overwhelmed by a message. This is NOT who I am. I am not the kind of God who demands you to beat yourself up. It was like a kick to the gut as I realized that I had been doing this for as long as I could remember. At some point I decided that taking pleasure in a job well done was arrogance and pride and that the only tool I had to combat it was to knock myself down. Once again I shared this moment with my mom and once again God gave her the words to explain to me that being pleased with accomplishments was okay. After all it is God who accomplished whatever for us anyways. This was a really big moment. This was a lesson I needed to get.

Okay so for sure by then I had it all figured out!!!

I sure thought so. I no longer agonized about blessings, I really grasped how gifts from God are not about us they are about Him and His ultimate purpose and I had virtually stopped beating myself up and instead accepted the pleasure that came with accomplishing something. Sounds good right???

Nope I still wasn’t there. For the last several years instead of beating myself up when I felt good about something in my life I constantly reminded myself to give glory to The Lord. When I was pleased with something I would repeatedly say to myself, “Don’t be proud, it wasn’t you that did that anyway. Glory unto the Lord. Thank you God for…. whatever.” Each and every time I accomplished something that dialogue played in my mind over and over and over.

A handful of weeks ago days of praise came my way, mostly work related, but in other areas of my life as well. Naturally when positive feedback is received you feel pleased and so the dialogue I described above was a constant tape playing during all of my daily tasks. Then it hit me, in a very similar way that it hit me four years ago as I stood on my front step. This isn’t what God is about. I wasn’t really giving any glory anyway. I was once again trying to “work” my way out of this human nature mess I was born into.

Suddenly it all seemed to fall into place. If blessings are given to us so that we can be the hands and feet of The Lord accomplishing what He desires, then the pleasure or the “fruit” of those accomplishments IS the Glory to God.

I cannot put into words the physical sensation I had when this clicked. It was as if Jesus who dwells inside me let out this huge sigh. By George I think she’s got it!!! It only took thirty years!!!! This physical, full body sense of relief was quickly followed by a rush of incredible excitement. It was as if I was eavesdropping on some cosmic conversation about myself. Now she can move on!! She is finally ready!

Ready for what??? I missed that part of the conversation. I know so many people have a clear sense of purpose; they know what God intends them to do. I have never known. I have always felt content that I was where I was suppose to be, that I was doing what I was suppose to be doing. Learning the lessons I needed to learn. This was the first time I actually felt that I was being moved along and that I was getting closer to accomplishing something else, fulfilling some purpose.

After weeks of soaking it in and of course discussing it with my mom, I still don’t have a clear understanding of where God is going to take me, what He is going to do with my hands and feet, but I do feel that I am one step closer to being equipped to accomplish whatever it is and that excites me big time!

I do marvel at the infinite patience of our maker. I know I would not be nearly as patient watching my child take thirty years to take one tiny step!!!!

Do I Sense A Change of Thought????

2011-07-21T13:05:00.003-06:00

Have you ever read something that completely contradicts all that you have believed? Of course you have, in a world full of differing views, religions and ideals this happens all the time. What doesn’t happen all the time is something that makes you stop and consider changing a viewpoint. At least it doesn’t happen to me all that often. I am set in my ways, like a cantankerous old woman who knows it all! I don’t sway easily, sometimes this is a good thing and other times not so much, especially for those loved ones that have to put up with my stubborn nature!

I have always assumed that to grow and to improve as a human being you must practice deliberate reflective contemplation on the subject of yourself. Time needs to be spent considering what makes you tick, what are your strong points, your weaknesses and how do you down play the negative and grow the positive. A keen understanding of why you do what you do and who you are will naturally lead to growth and a measured development of one’s character.

I still think that sounds pretty accurate, like I DO know what I’m talking about.

Then the other day while perusing through the giant World Wide Web I came across a blog with a letter by John Piper written to a teenager. Given that I have a child of the teenage variety and one on the way I took the time to read the letter. Two sections jumped at me:

“Introspection must give way to amazement at glory. When it does, becoming happens. If there is any key to maturity it is that. Behold your God in Jesus Christ. Then you will make progress from tadpole to frog. That was a great discovery. He has a plan and it is good and there is a world, seen and unseen, out there to be known and to be amazed at—“

“Why would I ruin my life by thinking about myself so much?”

The contradiction to one of my core beliefs was evident. However I couldn’t easily dismiss the point made. Maybe deep introspection isn’t required or the best means to developing a quality character and substantial life??? “Amazement of glory” – I like that, I like that a lot.

In reality it isn’t me that does any of the work inside to improve anyway.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10”

So while introspection may have a place, is it really all that productive or necessary??

Once again this feels like a big deal. Like something important. And once again I stop and ponder…….

A Newly United Hodge Podge!

2011-07-19T14:19:00.001-06:00

As I sit to write this a jumble of thoughts roll in my head, apart from my contemplation none are linked. How fantastic that a collection of random ideas can be connected simply by my reflection! And so that was the plan. I wrote out a long blog comprised of haphazard thoughts that bounced from wall to wall of my brain and out onto the computer screen.

The first I shared was:

“First and foremost I am thinking how I need to blog more, how I need to read more blogs and I need to set aside a time to do it! Each and every time I sit to blog I think this. Just like each and every time I dust my end table and see my journal also covered I think I need to make time to write new entries. I hate to admit it I think the same when I dust my coffee table and see my bible.”

The blog entry poured out from here, each paragraph jumping from topic to topic. I read it back and realized I had at least five separate entries. It also occurred to me that broken up they may be all that more interesting? Well interesting may be a bit of a stretch, but at least it wouldn’t take twenty minutes to read. That is if each word was even read, I know when a blog gets too long I skim – I hope I’m not the only one who does this or maybe this out of the blue confession will get me officially band from the bloggy world????

So today you get the above introduction and one random topic.

Bird Cloud by Annie Proulx is the book I am currently reading. I stumbled across two lists of book reviews one e-mailed to me from Chapters and the other in a free Chatelaine magazine. The two lists consist of about seventy books; I have decided to read them all. This has to be one of the best decisions I have made of late. I am reading books and exploring topics that I never would have before. Bird Cloud is book number seven. Not all seven were amazing, in fact one was very disappointing a collection of short stories that started out wholly enthralling and then quickly went downhill with the last six stories containing fairly explicit homosexual relationships – not my cup of tea.

Reading the above paragraph over gives me an idea that I could actually publish my list and let you all know what I think of each book – now there is an idea that could keep me blogging for a long time!!!

So far there is this quote out of Bird Cloud that keeps flipping in my mind –

"...practicing looking at the present as though it were an event already buried in the archives of the past. By this method he had cured himself of suffering and of all worry, and without having to die found a stern, serene peace, imbued with that particular sadness which cemeteries would still preserve even if all men on earth were dead."

Flip, flip, flip……… this feels important and profound…… I am hungry for important and profound.

High School?????

2011-06-23T09:28:00.002-06:00

I’m full of mixed emotions.

I didn’t expect to be.

Big Sis enters high school next year.

Obviously this fact didn’t catch me by surprise. I knew it was coming one day. Some day in the distant future.

As is so often with this life the distant future comes a lot quicker than we ever anticipated. In the parent orientation meeting last night over and over again things like, “Keeping doors open.” “Looks good on a resume.” “Beneficial throughout life.” were repeated.

Suddenly Big Sis has options – will she take photography, legal studies, art, French or Spanish??? Will she take Math 10-C or English 10-2???

Suddenly she will be in a different school. In a different town. Suddenly she really is a young adult – I can’t deny it any longer!

I am really excited for her. High school was the best of all my schooling. After a lame, awkward time in Junior High kids really start to come into their own come high school.

I am numb – I graduated in 1998 – 13 years ago I was in high school. Thirteen years seems like a blink. In some ways it is like it was yesterday that I sat in a classroom, passing notes, day dreaming about boys, wondering where the party would be on Friday night…. oh yes and learning a thing or two.

I’m terrified. So far Big Sis has been really easy to raise. She is fairly forthcoming and she has a good head on her shoulders. Never the less…… I know that some spreading of wings, risk taking, hard things to deal with are going to come up. It’s inevitable. I’m not ready. I don’t want to do it. I don’t know how to deal with it all. What’s the right way to handle this and the wrong way to handle that?

However…. truth be known I was thrown into being a parent with hours notice in Little Sis’s case and a month’s notice in Big Sis’s case. That time around I got zero parent orientations, no advice from experts on the way “things” worked. I was excited, numb and terrified. Really those three emotions have been fairly constant on this five year journey.

I recall falling asleep the first night the girls were tucked safely into bed and I told God that all of this was far too BIG for me, that I didn’t know what I was doing and that I NEEDED Him to take the wheel. Things haven’t always been perfect and they certainly haven’t always been a breeze, but it isn’t has hard as I thought it would be, not even close. So I take heart that He will continue to carry me through this journey, that He will direct me and show me what I need to do.

I pray that my eyes stay focused on Him and that His hedge of protection stays firmly around Big Sis. Once again I am so thankful that there is something so much bigger than me, how would I manage otherwise?????

Awesome.....

2011-05-10T13:14:00.001-06:00

*Disclaimer – please excuse the cheesy baseball and then forest fire metaphors – it is all I could come up with this lunch hour – perhaps I need to add more “brain food” to my menu???*

Lately life has thrown our family a couple of curve balls, the thing about curve balls; they provide the perfect opportunity for all players to show their best game. It occurred to me that life’s curve balls give God the perfect window to show His better game. I always marvel at how He never fails to hit one out of the park!

Over the last month I noticed that with each set back pitch a switch was flipped on a bright stadium light. Instead of the beam being trained on the game in general it was pinpointed directly on a life blessing. Suddenly I was keenly aware of certain gifts, every blessing that existed seemed brighter, my gratitude much more magnified.

I know naysayers will say these feelings are caused by years of social training, a coping mechanism – when life gives you lemons, make lemonade philosophy. I can’t prove those folks wrong except to say they have no argument for what I feel inside.

I know that I know that I know, that this isn’t a simple case of glass half full opposed to half empty syndrome. I know that on my own the sparks of worry and sometimes outright dread would burst into a fire. I know that God is at work, showing me all that I have instead of all that I lack. I feel Him here.

I suppose I am not quite ready to fully commit to being thankful for life setbacks, I mean I am not Polly Anna and in all honesty I wish all of the pitches were perfectly straight and slow (especially since I cannot hit a ball to save my life)! However I can say that I am thankful that I have a God so much bigger than any storm. That He can take all things meant for my harm and change it to good.

In a fallen world where bad things happen every second I rejoice that “All things work together for good, for those that love the Lord.”

I shudder to think what our lives would be like if it was all just random chance and circumstance.

ALL Things Work Together For Good......

2011-04-06T09:30:00.000-06:00

It amazes me how humans don’t really appreciate something until we are lacking and then mended.

Why are we like that?

When I was a younger gal I was blessed that at least ninety percent of the time I was so filled with joy that I was sure I would bust wide open. I don’t mean in the loud and outrageous sort of way. In fact I have always been what you could only describe as pretty dull and boring, but inside I was bubbling up – my cup running over and over and over.

I recall being somewhat grateful. I recall moments of sadness when I wished I could bottle some of it and pass it out to the world. I also recall a lot of questioning, I never felt worthy of such a blessing.

However….

The years passed by and in some ways life got more difficult and in all honesty sometimes the weight of the world has meddled with that abundant joy. I’m not saying that I’ve felt depressed, but emptier. Too often I shift my focus to what I lack instead of all I’ve got. These times come and go.

Thank God that there is always a silver lining.

This morning the bubbling joy was VERY present in my soul; to the point I didn’t quite know what to do with it all. In times like this when I marvel at the blessings poured upon me, I now feel freer to bask in all that He is and all that He has done because He loves me. My gratitude is heightened to a level I didn’t even realize existed when I was young.

Ten years ago my mind would have been full of questions - God, why me? Why am I so happy? Do I even deserve this?

This morning my thoughts were simple – THANK YOU!

I have to say that the cares of the world, the pressures and difficulties that can come with age seemed one hundred percent worth it this morning. To be able to rest in all that The Lord has given me without agony or questioning. To simply take and say thanks. A lesson worth learning. A lesson I hope I one day come to master……

Little Sis - Wise Words.

2011-03-31T11:41:00.002-06:00

Yesterday Little Sis had an issue at school. A problem with a class mate – Little Sis felt and still feels that she didn’t do anything wrong and so she refused to apologize. I wasn’t there and can’t speak to if her perception of the events is correct or not. However I did tell her over dinner that if she had just apologized she would have saved the trouble she got into.

Hours later we were driving home from my mom’s and she asks, “Why would you apologize if you didn’t think you did anything wrong?”

I responded, “Well it makes life easier, everyone is happy and life is good.”

She was quiet and then looked and me and said, “But it isn’t your responsibility to make everyone happy.”

Huh…… she makes a point……..

Some Examination

2011-02-16T09:48:00.000-07:00

I still haven’t talked to Hubby…. I guess I am waiting to get all my thoughts straight in my head first. Let me tell you straightening your thoughts can be a lot harder than you think!!!

I have come to the realization that some of the unrest I feel is in part due to some of the chaos that is going on around us. Things with our renovation are a bit up in the air, I don’t care to get into it all here, but we are in a bit of a waiting game before we know how the rest is going to all play out and in addition to that we do know for sure that some of the smaller items we wanted to get done are going to take longer than we had hoped.

I expect that once we know how the rest of the reno is going to play out and that is settled I will feel somewhat better. I also expect that once it is all done and we are into maintenance I will feel better.

I have a strong, overwhelming desire to just be maintaining….. is that laziness??? I would love to just be in the maintenance phase in every aspect of my life. That does sound lazy doesn’t it????

Secondly things with the girls and lawyers and adoption and their mom are not settled. I expected it to be settled by now, but due to circumstances that once again I won’t spell out here we are still up in the air about that. The adoption is happening, but it hasn’t happened and that leaves me tittering a bit in limbo. I can’t explain why because I expect nothing will really change when things firm themselves up.

Third on the list is work. Once again I can’t really get into details here, but there is some up in the air things in this area too. Things should become clearer in a month or so and that should help too.

Fourth on the list is into my extended family, beyond the four of us. My folks are facing some big changes. They seem confident that God is moving in their lives and that all will be well. I am thankful for their faith, but I am concerned how their future is going to look. I have a tremendous urge to fix it all for them, sadly I cannot. I think I will feel better once they are settled into their new normal.

Fifth on the list is Hubby’s grandfather, who is very ill. We are all sitting on edge wondering when the shoe will drop. Hubby doesn’t seem to want to speak of it and I don’t know how best to handle it. I dread the inevitable, I feel for my father in law. I don’t want to say that I will feel better when it is over because I won’t and I know that will only be the beginning of an emotional journey as the face of the family changes forever, however I it is something else up in the air.

The last thing is Hubby injured his back a month ago. At first we thought it was nothing. He has a weak back and often tweaks things. This time weeks went by without improvement – he finally went to a doctor and they sent him for a CT scan – they suspect it is broken again! This time mild, but still I wonder what this is going to mean for us???

This sounds like a huge list of complaints and woes!!! I am not about complaining and being negative. It does give me some perspective into some of the turbulence I feel. I still feel that as far as accumulating, purchasing and progress my day to day life is out of sync with my core beliefs. However I think perhaps before making any really large or significant decisions us as a family need to pass through some of the above situations first. I do think that it may be beneficial to open up the conversation with Hubby about some simple living steps we can take – purging, teaching the girls and saving. We are going to dinner with friends Friday and will be alone in the car for a few hours that might just be the perfect time to attack the topic.

Entitlement

2011-02-15T09:14:00.000-07:00

I think God plants seeds in our hearts and slowly they begin to work their way out. I believe the seed of simpler was planted and has been growing very slowly for some time now. It finally got big enough that it told my fingers to tap out a blog. It is big enough that when I get the chance I will chat to hubby about the sapling growing inside. Yesterday I discovered that it has also grown big enough that in some ways I am already starting to take action.

I love the girls and they are very good kids, causing very little trouble. They both have their little personality quirks and of course they are both damaged and that does sometimes affect our day to day life. However one thing they both share and have shared almost since moving in is a huge sense of entitlement. I have often pondered about it as it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. For many years they did without. I mean they weren’t starving, but for sure their needs were not always number one on anyone’s list and they didn’t get many extras.

I was spoiled growing up, I got a lot of extras and I wanted to do what we could for the girls. They are by no means the most well off kids in their school and they don’t get everything that everyone else has, but they don’t lack for much and they get to do quite a bit of extra activities.

I am sure they must have been appreciative in the very beginning, but it did not take long until they really took it all for granted and expected things that is very difficult if not impossible for us to give them. They don’t very often ask for extras they demand them. I get told what they need and when they need it. I use the word need because that is the word they use, however I am talking about desires here, things like $150 swimsuits.

How I have typically handled this is I listen to their demands and if I am willing and able to meet them I do and if I am not then I don’t. I don’t have a big long conversation with them I just either do it or don’t.

However last night I took a different tactic. Little Sis told me that she needed a mirror and a lock for her locker and she needed it now. Both of those things are small and both of them are something I would gladly get, however the manner in which she told me to get these things was obviously coming from a place of entitlement. I spoke up; I told her that was not how she was to go about things and that was not how she asked for something “extra” from me. I could tell she didn’t get it. Both girls don’t really have a clear idea between the distinction of desire and necessity, right and privilege. Without this clear understanding it is hard to make my point make any sense to them.

However I do feel that I have failed them both in this area and that I need to attempt to step up my game. One day in the not so distant future they will be adults and when you are an adult you need to grasp the difference between need and desire. So I am going to continue to make a conscious effort to try and show them this difference. I am not for one second saying that I will never get them anything they desire. I know that there are people in this world that have to or choose to live like that, but I am not one of them. I do want to start on a path of simplifying but I do not want to scrape things back to basic needs and no more. However some friendly reminders and maybe even a few more no’s can’t hurt them can it???

Project Simplify

2011-02-14T08:42:00.002-07:00

Status: Still in my head and nowhere else

I have yet to broach the subject with Hubby. I don’t know why. I can’t quite figure out how best to approach it. Mmmmmm…. Maybe I’ll get lucky and he will just read this blog????

Simple Living??? I Have Many More Questions Than Answers!

2011-02-11T11:50:00.001-07:00

Some of the buzz words of today are; “Simple Living”, “Declutter”, “Minimalism”

I have read some blogs about the subject. I have toyed with the idea. My sister is really embracing the simplify mentality. I like the idea. However…….

I’m not quite sure how to really go about it.

I’m going to attempt to lay out my thoughts about myself in direct relation to simple living.

I’m going to start with my beliefs that line up with the basic concept of simplifying.

1. I believe that society is far too focused on stuff
2. I believe that we all have too much – we can’t take it with us and most of it we could live without
3. I believe that my generation is very much about immediate self fulfillment. We don’t wait and save to have new homes, new furniture, new trailers, boats, quads, fancy vacations. We want it all now and we get it now and we don’t concern ourselves with the cost
4. I believe that most people have at least some “Keeping up with The Joneses” mentality
5. I believe that “Keeping up with The Joneses” is harder today than it ever was
6. I believe we all work too much, waste too much, spend too much, and collect too much.

Now I could write a VERY long list about how our life does not reflect any of those beliefs. I know the easy answer is to just change everything that is in contrast to the above list however it isn’t that easy. The two main obstructions are:

1. My family will fight me tooth and nail
2. I don’t want to

Okay so here I am. I feel the need and urgency to simplify. I feel bogged down by maintenance and I feel like we aren’t really able to maintain our lifestyle. I feel out of sync and out of balance. However I know that I can’t swoop in a say I am doing this and this. My family does not work like that. I do not possess that kind of power. My life would quickly deteriorate into misery.

I also know that we are never by choice going to live a life of total minimalism and I think that is okay. Nevertheless I have to ask myself can we not make some changes, some adjustments to end up more in balance???

I’m going to attempt to embark on a personal journey of my own special version of “simple living”.

I am going to start with sitting with Hubby, telling him what I believe and how our life currently doesn’t line up with my beliefs. How I feel suffocated to some extent and I feel like we aren’t able to maintain all of this. I don’t know what step two will be, but I promise I will report how that conversation goes. Maybe there will be no step two, but maybe we will embark on a little blessedsoandso family journey to our own unique version of minimalism and maybe I will be able to chronicle it here on this blog??? Time will only tell!!!

Sometimes The Old Fashioned Way Isn't So Bad

2011-01-19T09:20:00.002-07:00

A quick update. Well not an update – it seems that often there is so much going on that there would be nothing quick about an update. Life is good though – I’m in a good place – there have been some bumps in the road, but that is life.

I did pick up my journal yesterday. My old fashioned one that you write with a pen in! Imagine that?? I’ve never been dedicated to writing in a journal. Take my sporadic posts on this site and times it by a thousand and you would have a pretty clear idea of what writing in a journal has always looked like for me!

However as I grow older I’ve noticed that there are often things that you kind of need to get out of your system, but talking to people is often counterproductive – most times when we humans get involved we turn a mole hill into a mountain. In addition to this unfortunate phenomenon people have to respond – it is the art of conversation after all - which means they come back with either a solution or an opinion sometimes you don’t want or need to hear either of those.

I’m sorry to all those out in blog land, but this site isn’t a total picture of what is in my head. What I write here is honest and comes straight from my heart, when I choose to write about a subject I don’t and won’t ever sensor what I’m thinking or omit important parts because they might offend or cause trouble. However I must confess I don’t write every single thing that crosses my mind here either. I am much to reserved for total online boldness.

I don’t know quite when I realized that voicing every single thing that crosses your mind is not always a good thing. However sometimes I think not letting some of those silly thoughts go contributes to interior chaos and can leave you set on a much higher number emotionally then you need to be.

So yesterday evening I picked up my journal and I wrote, nothing too serious, nothing earth shattering just some random thoughts that were bouncing in my head. I made no attempt to sensor it and I made no effort to come up with any solutions. I closed the book laid my head on my pillow and instantly felt lighter????

I have to ask myself the question what will happen if I keep up with this???

Little Sis Story....

2011-01-04T16:07:00.000-07:00

Once again I have been neglecting this poor site!

I hope you all had a magical Christmas and fantastic New Years.

Many had their doubts that we would actually pull off Christmas Dinner, Boxing Day Dinner and New Years Eve Dinner at our home. I can’t say I blame any of them considering over half the house was gutted a mere two weeks before the big day(s.

I am convinced that when hubby combines determination with help and long, long hours he can accomplish virtually anything. We had a lovely holiday season, in five hundred square feet more than we have ever had before. It was utterly delightful!! A bit of heaven here on earth.

That all being said I would like to take this chance to tell a quick story about Little Sis.

Many, many people say after spending time with Little Sis that she is going places. In some ways she is so different from almost anyone I have ever known, especially myself.

I do not consider myself a lazy person however I can be a procrastinator and I have spent my share of days completely unproductive. I do consider myself fairly independent, however if someone is willing and able to take control of a situation and fix it for me I am alright with that. I think that my easy going nature serves me well, however sometimes I can accept a negative situation and “live with it” when it really could be changed.

All of these characteristics came to play as we lived in a house completely torn apart. On the threshold between what once was our living room and what now was our make shift laundry room combination kitchen a single nail stuck slightly out of the floor. My gait seemed to always put the back hem of my right pant leg right above that nail. I would quickly be halted and forced to pause, lift my leg and carry on. I have to say in the course of almost two weeks I repeated this procedure about sixty times. Each time I simply paused, lifted and carried on. I can’t say I gave it much thought it didn’t upset or annoy me; it simply was what it was.

Then one day as we neared the end of the renovations Little Sis came walking into the “make do” kitchen while I did dishes. Her shorter gait had not placed her near or on that nail yet, but for some reason that day everything lined up and her heel was poked. Instantly she sighed, marched to the back of the house, grabbed her dad’s hammer and pounded that nail down.

She never complained, she saw a problem, immediately recognized a solution and then simply fixed it. Until I began making a big deal out of the ordeal, by relaying this very story to anyone that would listen she never even saw anything special about her actions. In her mind it is what anyone would do. Who in their right mind would simply live with such an annoyance when a solution was so easily available???

I slowly raise my hand as I sheepishly admit that I would be the kind of person to live with it, to not even consider that it could or even should be solved……..

I would say that this example means that Little Sis is at the very least headed for places bigger than this gal!!

Our Christmas Letter

2010-12-22T11:26:00.000-07:00

Newsletter

This is How We Do It….

2010-12-21T09:47:00.002-07:00

September 2005 - we received the news that the house we had a conditional offer on had all conditions lifted. We were also informed that since the house was badly dated and in need of some work and was empty that we could go in early and do some of that work before the actual possession date. The actual possession date just happened to land on the day we had planned to have Big Sis’s birthday party. Now I will take this moment to point out that hubby and I were moving out from a place that we shared with my sister so we easily could have delayed the move in date to our new home.

However hubby decided it would be fantastic to kick off our first real family home in a grand birthday celebration style. I remember looking at him as if he had gone totally mad! We had just over one week to – strip an entire house of wall paper, rip up carpet, lay new flooring, paint the walls and ceilings, clean from top to bottom, not to mention that we had to purchase quite a bit of new furniture, I still had to pack and oh yeah we had to move in too!!!!

To make matters worse – we were getting married that December so there were no holidays to take from work – we would have to do all of this while working.

Impossible.

Well it turned out to not be impossible – of course only because our ~~insane~~ wonderful friends and family got behind the cause and pitched in A LOT!

I look back on that and I still can’t believe we did it.

What I can’t believe is that we are doing it again!!!! Five years later we are doing a MAJOR reno on that same home. There have been delays and it has taken longer than first thought. (*side note* I know I had said I would chronicle this adventure here, obviously I have not done that – I do promise to post a summary complete with pictures when we are done!)

Two weeks ago Hubby decided how wonderful it would be to have Christmas day in our new kitchen and living room this year. This is not so crazy since we always have Christmas dinner at our house. I need to inform you that while hubby made this decision we were in the process of emptying out half of our home so it could be completely gutted.

No one is under any delusion that every single thing will be accomplished by Saturday. That being said there are a few key components that really must be in place – walls, kitchen cabinets, a sink, stove and floor are the basics that must be done.

Like last time this job will not get done by us alone, the contractors have gotten behind our cause and have been working around the clock to get it to happen. Hubby has been helping as much as he can and tonight he will start tackling the floors.

Deep down I think we will pull it off as well – but I do have to shake my head at us – why do we do this????

A Christmas Card Mindset

2010-12-16T09:27:00.001-07:00

I am a Christmas card nut! I’ve been sending out between eighty and one hundred since I was at least 18 if not younger. Looking back on those single days with none of hubby’s family and friends I ponder how I ever managed to give over eighty cards? I have to conclude that I simply sent a card to pretty much anyone I had any contact with. I recall one time in particular when I mailed a card to a regular at the gas station where I worked; “Farmer Gary” as opposed to “Highway Gary” – because you had to find some way to keep everyone straight! He told me that it was the first Christmas card he had ever received. Looking back on it now I am doubtful that he was on this planet for over thirty years and never received a card at the very least a dentist or employer must have sent him one. I know now that his insistent denial had much more to do with building his cynic, negative, Eeyore image than delighting me in any way. However it did make an impression and I think cemented the act of giving Christmas cards into my holiday traditions.

For years I was adamant that each and every card MUST have a hand written note in it. I had read somewhere that Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was known for always sending all cards with her own handwritten note – she never once had an assistant do it for her. I loved that so many people remembered this about that amazing lady and I was determined to adopt it myself. Big surprise I ended up not having what it takes to sustain a Jackie Onassis style!!! A handful of years ago as I dashed my cards into the mailbox on Christmas Eve I was faced with the harsh reality, I needed to lower my expectations or quit giving cards altogether. So I adopted the monogrammed cards and the typed generic letter. Better than nothing right???

As the years progress, as technology increases, as folks are keenly aware of paper waste and postage cost I get told often that I am crazy for sending out cards. Many folks declare them a waste of time, resources and money!!

Those folks and I will have to agree to disagree because I don’t ever see myself seeing it their way.

I love sitting down and preparing the letter and the cards, I love that as I mindfully write out each address I stop to think about people that may not have crossed my mind in a year. I love the thought that maybe my card nestled in the post office box between a flyer and a phone bill may bring a smile to someone’s face. Mostly I love the result – I have to admit I’m selfish by nature.

Last night I sat and opened a stack of cards from others, many were obviously sent simply because they had received our card, they contained short little notes scrawled inside the card or on a scrap of paper commenting on the news in our family letter, wishing us well and sending their love. I adore the conversation of it all.

If that half an hour spent basking in the well wishes of others wasn’t enough to seal the deal for me, a phone call from a delightful man insured that next year I will be sending out more cards.

Hubby has a great Uncle whom I adore! I mean adore!! He is the most amazing man and sure enough last night he called to say that he had just opened our card, read our letter and seen our pictures. We chatted and he updated me on his life. He warmly wished us all Merry Christmas and he filled my heart with joy.

So if I had to waste a tree, throw money and some time away to be filled so very full to the brim then I say keep burning those trees, money and time because I believe it is well worth it!!!!

Share a Smile Blog Tour

2010-12-06T09:51:00.000-07:00

I have three ~~fussy~~ particular eaters in my house. This makes all meals a challenge – especially since each of their “particulars” vary greatly. It is a rare and beautiful thing when I find something they each like – I’m dead serious about this, when it happens I feel as though I’ve won a lottery.
One long standing favourite lunch item for my entire family is pudding. They all love Snack Pack and the new flavours (lemon meringue and banana cream pie) are BIG hits!!! They even have Little Sis ranting and raving about how amazing they are!!

So when the opportunity came to me to be a part of the Share a Smile Blog Tour I was quick to sign up. This is not only helping a cause I feel strongly about, but is associated with a product that is on my grocery list every two weeks!!

So here is how the campaign works and how you can help out a very valuable cause without a whole pile of effort.

The Snack Pack Share a Smile Campaign has set a goal of raising $20,000 for Food Banks Canada in time for the holidays!! Too many people go hungry in this great country and this is especially heart breaking during the holiday time when the rest of us experience so much excess. You know you’ve all had to undo the top button a time or two in Christmas’ Past!!

How does this Campaign work?? All you have to do is log onto their facebook page (you can access it through this link http://www.snackpackcanada.ca/ ) on the facebook page you will find instructions on how to “Share a Smile” – each and every time you do this Snack Pack will donate $1 to Food Banks Canada. If that wasn’t enough you are also entered to win great weekly prize!!!!

Remember, the more often you share a smile, the more donations and benefits to you you’ll collect!!

Once again the link to check out is http://www.snackpackcanada.ca/ and if you wish to spread the message on Twitter use the hashtag #SnackPackSmile.

Let’s help out a great cause and have fun while doing it!!!! Thanks everyone!!

**Disclosure – I am participating in the Snack Pack program by Mom Central on behalf of Conagra Foods Canada. I received a gift card as a thank you for my participation. The opinions on this blog are my own.

Today is My Anniversary!

2010-12-03T09:50:00.001-07:00

Last year I came up with a rather unique way to celebrate our anniversary. At least it is unique in my circle of friends and family.

We celebrate all together – the four of us.

We went to this hip, trendy burger place in the city last year and are hoping to do the same tonight (working overtime and thick fog not interfering).

I know that a wedding anniversary is about the couple and I appreciate that “alone” time is essential for sanity and intimacy. My mom always told me that the best advice she ever received was on the day of my birth, reminding her that she was part of a couple before she was a mother.

Hubby and I have the entire day set aside tomorrow for just the two of us. I can hardly wait.

However last year it occurred to me that excluding hubby and myself there are no two people on this planet that are as emotionally invested in my marriage than Big Sis and Little Sis.

It really is a big deal to them that we stay together, that we function happily as the Captain and Navigator of our family.

Obviously this need is especially highlighted given our particular situation. The girls have experienced large degrees of instability in their short lives, everyone is keenly aware of how critical any measure of constancy is for them.

Nevertheless this need exists for all children.

I have always thanked God that he put me in a solid and content home. I was given very little to overcome, a gift that will benefit me my entire existence on planet earth.

Even at thirty it really matters to me the state my parent’s marriage is in. All the same I have to admit that their wedding anniversary comes and goes without a lot of thought on my part. I am sure that if God forbid their marriage suddenly ended; September 24th would take on a whole new significance to my sister and me, stirring up sadness, deep desires and bucketfuls of thoughts.

Therefore I think that today is a day that all four of us should note; we should all joyfully celebrate another year of marriage.

And……

Tonight when the girls are tucked in safe and sound and tomorrow I will wrap myself in hubby’s undivided attention and feel like a honeymooner again, because that is also important. In fact it is an essential key to seeing the four of us in that trendy burger shop sipping to die for milk shakes next December third.

Hang On Honey, Cause Here We Go Again…..

2010-11-30T11:20:00.001-07:00

This is the last line of the anniversary card I just purchased for hubby. We celebrate five years of marriage and seven years together this Friday (yes we got married on the same day we started dating).

Hang On Honey….. it doesn’t evoke a lot of romantic images. You think of roller coasters, car races, and earth quakes? Not typically marriage.

However when I stumbled on this card I had to buy it I thought it fit so perfectly.

I love my hubby a lot. I’m glad I married him. I can’t see myself without him.

However the seven years we have spent side by side have been nothing of what I pictured when I imagined my forever partner and adult life.

From day ten when hubby broke his back, to some serious financial worries, to a parent with cancer, to another parent struggling with a serious injury, to ex wife troubles, to a six and ten year old moving in, to adoption, to family members passing away and others becoming very ill to and to and to and to. There honestly hasn’t been a lot of time for some serious romance and quite honestly I wouldn’t call it a classic “happily ever after” either.

I think this must be the case for many couples (after all they made a card about it)!

We are schooled as children by Hollywood and other places in society that when you find “the one” life is somehow simpler, most of your days are spent floating on a happy cloud dealing with the occasional bumps in a “Leave it to Beaver” kind of way.

I think we aren’t equipped to deal with the “complications” that come when two become one, when two lives (issues) become one larger life (issue).

However I’m not all doom and gloom. Yes your weaknesses are doubled when you marry, but so are your strengths and although we are ill equipped to love each other in the way that is required to make a marriage work, thankfully God has all the love and tools that we need!!!

Nevertheless sometimes it is hard. There is no way around it. Sometimes it feels like a roller coaster, car race or earth quake. Sometimes all you can do is hang on to each other and pray for the best. I think this is okay, I think you get in trouble when you stop hanging on and certainly when you stop praying.

So to my hubby, I can’t think of one other person I would rather be hanging on to!! I love you and yes here we go again!!

Social Networking or Social Plights?

2010-11-23T09:41:00.003-07:00

Am I the only one in the world that has had troubles with good old Facebook????

I have decided that enough is enough and have given up on the Crackbook world.

I was an avid user. I do feel a bit cut off.

However I know this too shall pass.

Since my decision yesterday I have been pondering the whole thing, why have I had so many troubles?

How have I been using it wrong??

A bizarre contradiction is that in my face to face socialization I experience little troubles.

I’m pretty much an open book and always have been, I think it comes naturally to those of us that love to communicate and I’ve always said one of my favourite subjects is me (hence an attraction to blogging).

Maybe being an open book with your close personal friends and family is a good thing; perhaps that quality sometimes helps diffuse tense situations and establishes close bonds. However conceivably being an open book on facebook creates problems???

I do have to say most of my troubles haven’t been caused by honesty. Most have been either misunderstandings or caused by my avid use and how those individuals with a strong dislike to the facebook craze react to that practice.

I have had some facebook issues in my marriage – some friends that hubby didn’t like – romances from long ago. Okay I get that – what was I thinking??? I know what I was thinking, I was thinking having them listed on my friend page, checking in time to time to see what they were up to was not really all that bad. I had zero intentions of sharing private messages, or even writing on their wall except for the polite and pretty much required “Happy Birthday” post. However if I had once seriously considered hubby’s past history I would not have made this move and once I was shown the error of my ways I quickly deleted any and all such friends.

The other marital arguments have been about statuses once during an argument I posted something along the lines of feeling drained which hubby perceived as broadcasting our troubles, I perceived it as a vague, truthful and safe status. Different interpretations often leads directly to conflict.

There have been a few other issues like that in my marriage. None of them have come up recently so I suppose I have learned my lesson or hubby as accepted that sometimes we see things differently?

However in the past six months with hubby’s side of the family issues have arisen. All have stemmed with the root notion that hubby and I use facebook too much. That facebook is evil and should be avoided and we are judged because obviously our blatant habit shows we don’t agree. One situation was not all that serious – playground teasing all evening long about my “lame” status updates and how no one cares if I’m having a good day at work. I will admit I was and am likely being overly sensitive about this, but given the other occurrences it became yet another chink in my opinion of facebook. The other two times involved a fair amount of serious criticism, hurt feelings and drama.

Yesterday I tried to justify my decision, “I just wanted out of the facebook game altogether because of all those people that “creep” on your site, reading and making judgments.”

Today in a new light I see that although that issue is a concern for me, the biggest part is I’ve just had enough. I said before typically socially I have very, very few conflicts. Since birth I’ve been designed this way. Conflict and I do not mix well. I often go to great lengths to attempt to avoid discord and upset.

This is the real reason I am done with facebook. I am done with the conflict that can arise from this networking tool. Or at the very least the conflict that seems to plague me.

Obviously the future of this blog is in question as well.

To date no personal conflict has come from this site. To date I have received nothing but love and support from my ramblings. However I cannot ignore that if a site where you simply update your status in a few short sentences, comment on photos and post on walls is capable of causing troubles than surely a site where I pour my heart out in paragraphs of prose has the potential to turn everything upside down!!

I’m not jumping into this, but it is something I’m seriously considering. I may be done with the whole “social networking” trend.

A Paper Towel Review

2010-11-09T09:13:00.000-07:00

I was blessed to receive a beautiful package before Halloween. It contained several roles of Bounty Paper Towel, along with some delightful Halloween supplies.

Halloween is a wonderful time of year. It’s really so much more than just the candy.

Every young child loves to play dress up and I think that is buried down inside of all of us. Who doesn’t want to pretend to be someone else for an evening????

However I do think there may not be a messier holiday out there!

Really think about it – pumpkin guts, sparkles for crafts and costumes, make up, fake blood, sticky wrappers, melted chocolate, imitation spider webs and oozing candle wax.

Enough to make a mom entertain passing the whole celebration by!

I have to confess, I like all of you have seen the Bounty commercials yet I always bought whatever was cheapest on the shelf. After all, could there really be that big of a difference????

I’m here to say there really is that big of a difference.

All that Bounty claims is true. They do absorb better. They are thicker and feel much more like a cloth than a paper towel. In fact my first mistake was ripping a length off that matched my arm from finger tip to shoulder to polish my bathtub and shower.

It was way over kill!!! After wiping my entire shower the wad of towels were hardly soaked through.

I have to say I was impressed! I would recommend Bounty to anyone and would almost argue that you need to use much less than other brands and so perhaps the cost difference would actually become irrelevant????

A Legacy Accidentally Gives Some Food For Thought……

2010-11-08T09:42:00.003-07:00

A week or so ago a very dear friend and I explored our different outlooks and theories about how growing old related to different temperaments. I shared with her a story I found fascinating.

At a heartbreaking young age my grandmother was struck with the devastating disease of Alzheimers. I was under ten when she was diagnosed and so only experienced a normal relationship with her for an extremely brief stretch. However I described what that time was like.

While she was healthy my grandma was a good grandparent. She wasn’t miserable or hard to be around, I loved her and spent quite a lot of time at her place. However she wasn’t one of those ladies that poured out bucketfuls of joy and bliss. She was friendly and for the most part kind, her grandchildren never seemed to be an inconvenience and she was always ready to spoil us. However on occasion I saw another side to her. A side that seemed set on stirring up trouble for no other reason than she could.

In addition to what I personally experienced, my mother has painstakingly brought both of her parents to life for me, talking about them, sharing the good, the bad and the ugly. Giving me a precious gift – the truth of who they were.

It isn’t all roses and lollipops. Over the years my grandmother did some things that could only be described as cruel.

As her disease progressed she lost more and more of who she was. Sadly she eventually knew no one and could do nothing for herself. She lived with us until her care was too much for my mom. She spent the last of her years in a wonderful nursing home, in a special ward designed for those with severe Alzheimers.

I remember how interesting it was that all of the patients had essentially “lost their mind”, yet there were clear and distinct differences in what form this took. One lady did nothing but write columns and columns of numbers, while another sung mournful, painful sounding songs in German. Some cried and wailed in the corner, breaking your heart. Another lady spoke only compliments to anyone that passed.

When my grandma reached this lost stage of the dreadful disease that had utterly consumed her brain she could only best be described as purely delightful.

Her blue eyes twinkled with every sight she saw, she laughed and giggled and held your hand with such a genuine gentleness you couldn’t help but melt. The nurses, the other visiting families, everyone loved her. They affectionately called her June bug and it was obvious the joy she brought to so many.

I don’t think anyone close to her ever would have predicted this outcome.

I shared this story with my friend for no other reason than I had always found it fascinating. I summed my tale up with a statement, “No one ever would have guessed she would have ended up like that, but obviously all that joy and bliss was there it was just buried so deep beneath the damage that no one got to see it.”

My friend was excited. Her tone of voice changed it was as though I had handed her an amazing gift. In her excitement she connected dots for me that I didn’t even know needed connecting.

She shared how my simple story had just taught her something, how she suddenly felt as though she had discovered a hidden treasure.

We aren’t what we do.

Too often we get caught up in our poor actions or decisions and we jump to the conclusion that somehow we must be bad people. Our lot in life is to walk around carrying really unpleasant character flaws. We can try our best to suppress them, but we know it is impossible to be rid of them entirely, after all that is who we are.

But… what if that isn’t who we are?????

How freeing is that thought?????

Sounds so simple, but what a valuable lesson for me and for my friend. You aren’t what you do. Which means it is possible to do better. Character flaws aren’t a curse or a lot in life to carry never to be overcome.

For two gals that just turned 30 this is pretty big news!

Thanks grandma – your life, your legacy continues.