Days Gone By... Growing Aches......

I am 16, part of me knows the world is much more complicated then I realize. I know there is a dark side. I sense though that it is far from me. I am some how removed, possibly immune. I am wrong……….

I am consumed with myself - my friends, my car, my job, what I am doing tonight, who I like, who might like me, what I think, what I feel, what I don’t feel………..

We hear about a party, a friend’s dad’s birthday, we are invited to check it out.

We cruise around, there are no better options so why not?

We arrive. The father is angry at our friend, his son.

We are descending the stairs; I am the first in line. Below me is the father, in front of him the son.

The father turns to me and calmly asks me to hold his rye and coke. I take it. The father turns away, grabs the son by the collar and begins to pound his fist into his head.

I am numb.

I knew this happened, but not in a nearby town on Sixth Street??? Not to someone I share a school hall with???

The father turns back to me. A casual thanks as he takes his drink back.

I am disturbed. I don’t think I can be more disturbed. Again I am wrong………..

It is my car, and I decide this is not where we need to be. We leave. Perhaps two minutes have passed we go out the back door. The father sits on the front step smoking a cigarette. He calls to us; he doesn’t understand why we are leaving so soon, the party has just started. He laughs and tries to convince us to stay.

I am more disturbed.

I am instantly nauseated by the fact that it doesn’t occur to this man that what just happened in the basement might ruin a party.

I am pretty sure I made it to the car and off the front lawn before I began to weep. I am pretty sure, but I am not positive.

I remember not only weeping for my friend, but for my innocence and for the world…………..