50's Guide How To Keep Your Husband Happy

Yesterday I wrote my list of things I think a husband needs to be happy and then went searching for an appropriate picture to accompany my post. In my search I came across a list from a 1950’s high-school home-economics textbook of how to have a happy husband.

Again I was struck with much of the commentary attached to this list, folks talking how archaic the overall philosophy was and how following such a list made for a happy husband, but a miserable wife. I had to disagree. Many of the points I thought were spot on. Not all of them, but many of them.

So for today I decided to post the list and below in bold write my own thoughts on each point, some I agree with and some I disagree with. Again I welcome your comments even if you do 100% disagree with me!

How to Have a Happy Husband.

Have dinner ready, Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home, and the prospect of a good meal is part of this warm welcome needed.

I do make dinner most days – it is the first thing I start when I walk in the door – I plan ahead – more for my sanity then to be a “good wife”, although I would argue that anything that keeps me sane, keeps Hubby happy! I don’t feel horribly guilty when I leave Hubby to fend for himself because I have after work plans, but I try not to make a habit of it either. I stress less about feeding the family then he would and so I look at taking on this role as an act of love and I think he also sees it this way. I don’t think women that don’t cook are bad wives nor have unhappy husbands.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

On my days off I do look rather sloppy – I figure I can get away with it because most days I am work ready. I do not change into sweats or PJ’s the minute I get home (most of the time). I think it is important to look nice for your husband – I know that sounds old fashioned, but I do think it’s important. I am far, far from a girly girl and am almost never really made up, Hubby knew this when he met me so I don’t go extreme, but I do try and look presentable for him.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

I think this is important, I try and find things to talk to Hubby about and I try to be chipper and light hearted, I know that my mood deeply affects his mood. Also we spend a lot of time talking so it is good to try and be somewhat interesting right????

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Light a candle. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

I think it is important to keep the house feeling like a “haven of rest and order”, not just for hubby, but for the girls too. My house is not perfect clean, but it is tidy and orderly, I really try to keep it feeling like a haven (I love that word – can you tell???) Both the girls and hubby get home before me, so I can’t be right on top of things, but tidying before I leave for work and when I get home helps me keep up. I really think my family appreciates it, but they wouldn’t keep on it themselves.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary. change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Well this one I am not big on – I really dislike the “playing the part” bit.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Better yet, have them in bed.

This one just made me laugh out loud – “better yet have them in bed” Too funny!!!

Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

I think this one is important – really important.

Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Just count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

This sounds bad, but I totally agree. My mother preached this rule to me a lot when I was first married. I don’t think your first exchanges after being apart should be complaints. I don’t think “they count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through” is great advice – I think it should be more like, enjoy and appreciate each other for a moment before diving into what is wrong. Still equals out to the same action and advice though.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom.

I think Hubby is capable of making himself comfortable, although he does have an overruling power – if the girls have taken over the couch and living room and he really wants to watch something on the PVR or big TV he will kick them to the little TV in the bedroom – I support this “power”.

Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.

I don’t do this – even on the rare times I am home before him.

Speak in a low, soft soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

I think this is just a funny way of repeating the advice not to greet him with complaints. I think it is important to typically greet your Hubby in an upbeat, pleasant way.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him - the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

I usually practice this – I do think of Hubby as the head of our home so it does make sense. It is pretty easy to do because Hubby is always quick to ask me how my day was and he really seems to care what my answers are!

Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

Hubby does typically set the tone of the evening. Again he does have the head of the home role. Still this doesn’t get ridiculous – I will make plans or suggestions either for us to do things together or for me to do separately. Still I often plan my outings around evenings I know he will be watching hockey or going to archery or hunting or something. I don’t know how important this is, but it does seem to work out that way in our home.

Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

This is super important not only for your husband, but for your children – I know this sounds out of the dark ages, but I think in most cases this is the women’s job – she is typically better at it and this is such an important role!!