Christmas Reflection

My blogging has been seriously neglected as of late. Now that the holidays are basically behind me I hope to get back on track. Words cannot express the magic of this Christmas for me. It wasn’t that any one specific amazing thing happened; it was a collection of ordinary perfection. I am reading a book that I am finding amazing – The Happiness Project – it’s on my list and I will post a full review when I’m done, but I am getting so much out of it that I am sure sprigs and sprouts will show up in more then a few posts. One such sprig is the author discusses how life is made up of three revolving stages, anticipation, savoring and reflection. I have no troubles with anticipation, I am extremely emotional and get very excited for pretty much everything. I find that whenever I reflect I am overcome with profound sadness, consumed with a dreadful feeling that I didn’t savor the event, moment, weekend enough. It feels like time went by too fast, what I had anticipated is now over and gone forever and somehow I didn’t enjoy it enough. Today when I reflect on the events of the last few days, I honestly feel like I got everything out of it that I could have. I really experienced everything; I enjoyed it as much as was humanly possible. I am slightly sad that it is over. I am okay with this sadness – the only means to best explain this feeling is to steal a line from a previous post; Don’t Blink! – “When you really think it through - deep melancholy reveals a life well lived.” This slight sadness is nothing compared to the urgent grief I typically experience, that some how I missed something very important. I don’t know if this was a phenomenon akin to lightening striking, never to be experienced again or if I am finally getting down the savoring part of life. Maybe I have tapped into the spirit inside of me that connects to the present moment???? Man I hope so…. Doesn’t that sound like heaven??? For now I will savor today and anticipate the reflection of the next big event, praying for the feeling of satisfaction I feel today…….