I’ve written on more than one occasion that I have the most amazing little sister. She has a great blog and has started a fantastic “Grace” Challenge.
She is issuing herself and inviting anyone who cares to join different challenges each day to show someone grace.
I urge you to go check this out! It’s beyond cool! I myself am not sure how closely I can walk with her on this challenge. I just can’t see how I can fit it into my every day.
I told my sister as much and her response was she would pray that God would show me every day how I could fit it in. Now if that isn’t a cool response, I don’t know what is!
Okay so here’s the link – please follow her on this 30 day journey.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
I don't think I can deny it any longer........
I’m five years old, almost six, this is important everyone knows that there is a huge difference between five and six, especially since my baby sister turned five a couple of weeks ago. Clearly I must distinguish myself from her; I am, after all older so I wear it as a badge. My name is Jamie and I’m five turning six….
A lot is happening. Changes that will affect who I will grow to be, big things and I am not happy! My parents are moving. They are taking me off my street, away from my friends to live a million miles away! That’s what it felt like the first time they showed me the tiny town soon to be called home. Out of Calgary, my home, the only place I’d known. I didn’t even know small towns existed. Of course my parents tell me all the good things about a small town, how much safer they are and how much more freedom I can have. I don’t care about these things. I care about Mike that lives across the road, Vanessa up the street and Tim next door. What will I do without my friends? I am not happy!
I couldn’t know then I would grow to hate the city and grow to love that tiny town in a way only read about in classic novels.
I clearly remember my feelings then; I can clearly see my parent’s faces the new house and all the boxes. I remember how I viewed my mom and dad. They were such grownups, they knew best and what they said went. I was not always happy about their decisions, but I never questioned that they had the authority to make them and that they knew what they were doing. Like I said they were clearly grownups and grownups knew what they were doing.
That was 1986, my mom was 31 and my dad 38 (turning 39)….
Now its 2010, hubby is 36 and I am 29 (turning 30)…..
Do you see the similarity? It’s hard to miss.
I guess this means hubby and I are “clearly grownups”.
Of course we are. I KNOW that!!
However many days I don’t FEEL it…..
Then I think about conversations like the one hubby and I shared last night….
We talked about the age he would be eligible to retire from the company he works for – 58, 22 years from now.
We spoke about our home and our mortgage – a while ago we came up with a “plan” (you know one of those things grownups lay out and hope will come together) to pay off our house in 10 – 15 years from now.
We spoke about how perfect that worked with retirement. That would leave 10 – 12 or more years without a mortgage allowing us ample money to add to our retirement savings and we spoke of all that we would like to do once we are “foot loose and fancy free”.
This line of thought made us feel better about loving where we live rather then moving. We played out the scenario of buying another house at the top of what we could afford meaning no plans of paying off early. Meaning a possible 30 years with a mortgage – meaning hubby would be 66 and me 60 before the house was paid for – making thoughts of early retirement very unlikely.
Okay all these warm, fuzzy thoughts, all these plans and dreams – how delightful.
Till this morning when it hit me. We had a conversation about retirement?????
Does it get more “grownup”????
A lot is happening. Changes that will affect who I will grow to be, big things and I am not happy! My parents are moving. They are taking me off my street, away from my friends to live a million miles away! That’s what it felt like the first time they showed me the tiny town soon to be called home. Out of Calgary, my home, the only place I’d known. I didn’t even know small towns existed. Of course my parents tell me all the good things about a small town, how much safer they are and how much more freedom I can have. I don’t care about these things. I care about Mike that lives across the road, Vanessa up the street and Tim next door. What will I do without my friends? I am not happy!
I couldn’t know then I would grow to hate the city and grow to love that tiny town in a way only read about in classic novels.
I clearly remember my feelings then; I can clearly see my parent’s faces the new house and all the boxes. I remember how I viewed my mom and dad. They were such grownups, they knew best and what they said went. I was not always happy about their decisions, but I never questioned that they had the authority to make them and that they knew what they were doing. Like I said they were clearly grownups and grownups knew what they were doing.
That was 1986, my mom was 31 and my dad 38 (turning 39)….
Now its 2010, hubby is 36 and I am 29 (turning 30)…..
Do you see the similarity? It’s hard to miss.
I guess this means hubby and I are “clearly grownups”.
Of course we are. I KNOW that!!
However many days I don’t FEEL it…..
Then I think about conversations like the one hubby and I shared last night….
We talked about the age he would be eligible to retire from the company he works for – 58, 22 years from now.
We spoke about our home and our mortgage – a while ago we came up with a “plan” (you know one of those things grownups lay out and hope will come together) to pay off our house in 10 – 15 years from now.
We spoke about how perfect that worked with retirement. That would leave 10 – 12 or more years without a mortgage allowing us ample money to add to our retirement savings and we spoke of all that we would like to do once we are “foot loose and fancy free”.
This line of thought made us feel better about loving where we live rather then moving. We played out the scenario of buying another house at the top of what we could afford meaning no plans of paying off early. Meaning a possible 30 years with a mortgage – meaning hubby would be 66 and me 60 before the house was paid for – making thoughts of early retirement very unlikely.
Okay all these warm, fuzzy thoughts, all these plans and dreams – how delightful.
Till this morning when it hit me. We had a conversation about retirement?????
Does it get more “grownup”????
Friday, January 29, 2010
I Urge You To Take A Deep Breath!
I’ve spoken before how I worked two years for a non-profit organization that worked with seniors. Two years of my life well spent. I learned countless treasured tidbits of knowledge. Simple things from what a wonderful household cleaner Polident is (it will take sooo many stains out – think coffee pots, bathtubs…..) to more complicated lessons like the grant writing process. The last tidbit of course led me directly to my job today that I love!
In December 2008 through work I attended a seminar that taught attendees how to deal with grief. God has been prodding me of late with one of the treasured lesson I learned then.
There is not a senior out there that couldn’t benefit from a seminar on grief. Sadly life hands out loss. Before I attended I recall looking forward to gaining a deeper sense of empathy for the dear seniors I loved so much.
I know going into that church basement I was feeling very blessed in this area. I had lost a few family members, most were not that close to me and one grandparent although very close was sick practically my entire life. As a child I essentially grew up with a clear knowledge that she was fading from this world day by day and in many ways I dealt with that grief along with dealing with the valleys of growing up and puberty. I’ve lost almost no friendships, I can count two which I made and lost before the age of eight – not really life shattering! My parents are still married, my sister and I have a relationship that gets better with time not worse. I did lose a pet here and there which took some grieving, but once again I was blessed with a great family that encouraged and allowed the natural process of grief to occur. I did lose a friend to death which I’ve previously posted about. That loss took a lot of time and a number of tears, but I think I’ve dealt with it fairly well. I say think because another thing I took from this seminar is sometimes you can think one thing and find out years later the opposite is true!
So what tidbit did I pull from that half a day session?
One thing taught that stuck with me and of late has been brought up again and again in my mind is a story shared about an Asian belief. The speaker taught that you carry your grief in the pit of your stomach and the only way of release is to breathe deeeep. The kind of breathing where you belly hits your spine and your chest presses forward threatening to pop shirt buttons. We all had to practice and I felt results immediately because of this I remembered the exercise.
Soon after I incorporated this style of breathing into my bubble path procedure. So almost every night for over a year I’ve “released my grief”.
So what has God put on my mind of late?
What have I been pondering?
That’s easy!
Why do I still feel immediate results?
Shouldn’t the limited amount of grief I’ve experienced in my 29 years be all released by now????
What am I still carrying?
Here’s what I’ve come up with.
I think I grieve every day that passes.
On the days when I am happy and content and feel fully blessed, I grieve the miracles that are gone. Sometimes I grieve missed opportunities, those moments and seconds I know I let slip by without really being present. When I wasn’t really experiencing life, but merely turned on to auto pilot just functioning. Other times I grieve the moments that I was present, those precious times when I was one hundred percent tuned into my blessings and my maker. The times when I soaked up all that He had given me and I mourn that that time is gone, never to be experienced in exactly the same way again. For each day, each gift, each blessing is always unique to that day, that moment in time and will never occur again…..
On the other hand I do have days when I am not content or happy. Now and again I go through an entire day on auto pilot, never really tasting or experiencing any of the gifts given to me. At times I gripe about the hardships, focus only on the negatives, present in the moment, but not tuned into any stream of light or hope. I miss all of the blessings, all of the good things. So distracted by the world and its problems that I spend a full twenty four hours never feeling blessed or worse loved. My first instinct when pondering these days was that they certainly were nothing to grieve. Rather their close a chance to celebrate the fact that they were finally finished. With further reflection I think I do grieve these days, sometimes in a manner more profound then the good days that are behind me. All those missed moments and missed opportunities to experience the blessings and sparks of joy given to me by The Lord. Every gift bestowed on a day when my mind and body fully dwells on the rotten are gone forever, never to be recaptured and never to be experienced. In the span of a life time, our days on this earth are so few, I shed tears over the gifts I’ve thrown away or worse taken for granted.
I am not an extremist and I believe that focusing on the grief that we naturally experience as each day on this earth passes is a recipe for a giant bowl of crazy! I also believe that because I’m emotional to the point of complete and utter stupidity means that I can dwell too much on the "What ifs?" and the "Oh no’s!" I don’t recommend worrying like this. Luke 12:25 NIV “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”
In fact when we ponder all the moments of joy we missed, essentially we are missing current moments of joy! I have a lot to learn in this area…..
On the other hand, I have found the simple exercise of breathing in, deep from the base of your core and letting go replenishes my soul. I think God has brought this all to mind so that I recognize that yes time flies, moments come and go and there is nothing I can do about it. It’s natural and okay to grieve, but it’s also natural to breathe and even more natural to let go without the dwelling and worrying.
In December 2008 through work I attended a seminar that taught attendees how to deal with grief. God has been prodding me of late with one of the treasured lesson I learned then.
There is not a senior out there that couldn’t benefit from a seminar on grief. Sadly life hands out loss. Before I attended I recall looking forward to gaining a deeper sense of empathy for the dear seniors I loved so much.
I know going into that church basement I was feeling very blessed in this area. I had lost a few family members, most were not that close to me and one grandparent although very close was sick practically my entire life. As a child I essentially grew up with a clear knowledge that she was fading from this world day by day and in many ways I dealt with that grief along with dealing with the valleys of growing up and puberty. I’ve lost almost no friendships, I can count two which I made and lost before the age of eight – not really life shattering! My parents are still married, my sister and I have a relationship that gets better with time not worse. I did lose a pet here and there which took some grieving, but once again I was blessed with a great family that encouraged and allowed the natural process of grief to occur. I did lose a friend to death which I’ve previously posted about. That loss took a lot of time and a number of tears, but I think I’ve dealt with it fairly well. I say think because another thing I took from this seminar is sometimes you can think one thing and find out years later the opposite is true!
So what tidbit did I pull from that half a day session?
One thing taught that stuck with me and of late has been brought up again and again in my mind is a story shared about an Asian belief. The speaker taught that you carry your grief in the pit of your stomach and the only way of release is to breathe deeeep. The kind of breathing where you belly hits your spine and your chest presses forward threatening to pop shirt buttons. We all had to practice and I felt results immediately because of this I remembered the exercise.
Soon after I incorporated this style of breathing into my bubble path procedure. So almost every night for over a year I’ve “released my grief”.
So what has God put on my mind of late?
What have I been pondering?
That’s easy!
Why do I still feel immediate results?
Shouldn’t the limited amount of grief I’ve experienced in my 29 years be all released by now????
What am I still carrying?
Here’s what I’ve come up with.
I think I grieve every day that passes.
On the days when I am happy and content and feel fully blessed, I grieve the miracles that are gone. Sometimes I grieve missed opportunities, those moments and seconds I know I let slip by without really being present. When I wasn’t really experiencing life, but merely turned on to auto pilot just functioning. Other times I grieve the moments that I was present, those precious times when I was one hundred percent tuned into my blessings and my maker. The times when I soaked up all that He had given me and I mourn that that time is gone, never to be experienced in exactly the same way again. For each day, each gift, each blessing is always unique to that day, that moment in time and will never occur again…..
On the other hand I do have days when I am not content or happy. Now and again I go through an entire day on auto pilot, never really tasting or experiencing any of the gifts given to me. At times I gripe about the hardships, focus only on the negatives, present in the moment, but not tuned into any stream of light or hope. I miss all of the blessings, all of the good things. So distracted by the world and its problems that I spend a full twenty four hours never feeling blessed or worse loved. My first instinct when pondering these days was that they certainly were nothing to grieve. Rather their close a chance to celebrate the fact that they were finally finished. With further reflection I think I do grieve these days, sometimes in a manner more profound then the good days that are behind me. All those missed moments and missed opportunities to experience the blessings and sparks of joy given to me by The Lord. Every gift bestowed on a day when my mind and body fully dwells on the rotten are gone forever, never to be recaptured and never to be experienced. In the span of a life time, our days on this earth are so few, I shed tears over the gifts I’ve thrown away or worse taken for granted.
I am not an extremist and I believe that focusing on the grief that we naturally experience as each day on this earth passes is a recipe for a giant bowl of crazy! I also believe that because I’m emotional to the point of complete and utter stupidity means that I can dwell too much on the "What ifs?" and the "Oh no’s!" I don’t recommend worrying like this. Luke 12:25 NIV “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”
In fact when we ponder all the moments of joy we missed, essentially we are missing current moments of joy! I have a lot to learn in this area…..
On the other hand, I have found the simple exercise of breathing in, deep from the base of your core and letting go replenishes my soul. I think God has brought this all to mind so that I recognize that yes time flies, moments come and go and there is nothing I can do about it. It’s natural and okay to grieve, but it’s also natural to breathe and even more natural to let go without the dwelling and worrying.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Thankful Thursday
The favour that God blesses me with always leaves me amazed. Thursday posts are always so easy to write – this in itself is a blessing. My blessings are so plentiful that creating a small weekly snap shot for you all is a breeze! Today I rejoice and am thankful for:
2. For a work schedule this week that is exciting and challenging and far from boring, the days fly by.
3. For grocery shopping on Monday, that we are blessed with employment and a pay check and that we can by food without a lot of thought.
4. That we went out for supper on Monday, nothing fancy, but it was still nice!
5. For a couple of nights off this week, no plans just being at home together, God always comes through with these quieter weeks just when your soul needs them.
6. For a wonderful massage Tuesday night. Hubby and I treated ourselves to a massage each and it was heaven – we are planning on making it a monthly occurrence.
7. For discovering an easy, tasty cookie recipe in the Desperate Housewives cookbook (Babysitting Cookies) – yum!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tackle It Tuesday - a bit late......
So I know today is Wednesday, but I wanted to do a Tackle It Tuesday and I just didn’t find time yesterday.
Being off work is hard on my blogging. I get out of everyday routine and I just don’t make posts.
I’m here to say my four day weekend was awesome! I was able to knock some items off my To Do list and I still did plenty of visiting and relaxing! It really rejuvenated me and when I got to work yesterday I was geared up and ready to get at it rather than dragging my butt! Life is good!
So amongst cleaning my house thoroughly for once, doing up laundry and doing a whole pile of laundry I was able to knock ironing and washing all duvets and duvet covers off my list!! Which means I still have washing light fixtures and letter writing on the list; not too bad! Although because life is what it is and things are ever evolving I will add to the list:
1. Clean my truck
2. Scrapbook the pictures I have currently printed
That with what is left completes my list:
3. Wash light fixtures
4. Letter writing
Now for the Wii Fit update: As good as four days off was for my soul and my To Do list it wasn’t awesome for my waist line. There was a lot more cheating and a couple of missed exercising days. The good news is I ended the week yesterday at the same place I started. I did gain the pound I had lost early in the week, but that equalled no change from last week’s update, so my goal is still somewhat possible. Next week is goal day so we shall see if I accomplish it or not, I’ll keep you posted.
Work is busy; work is good although the down side is my posts may suffer. I hope not, but sometimes things are what they are! Happy Tuesday (Wednesday) everyone!!!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Thankful Thursday
I’ve had a good week.
Peace and contentment have reigned over me this week. Nothing extraordinary has occurred it’s just been one of those good weeks. I love them and wish I had more of them!
Today I am thankful that:
2. That I got to see the Olympic Torch not once but twice this week. The first time I was on work duty and got a real close up look, but was separated from my family. The second time I was in my home town with my family (minus hubby, brother in law and my mom). Both were great experiences and I feel so blessed that I got to be part of it.
3. For a total indulgent, lazy Saturday afternoon. I even had a bubble bath at three in the afternoon and had a three hour snooze….. pure delight and the perfect recharge.
4. That we went to church on Sunday and heard a great sermon, we weren’t planning on going, but at the last minute decided to and it was so worth it.
5. For a wonderful supper at Boston Pizza with my Ma and Sister and that Ma bought!!!
6. For my incredible husband and two beautiful girlies!
7. That the basement continues to be renovated – slowly but surely – one day it will be all done!
9. That Big Sis’s game is at home tonight – no traveling – wooo!!!
10. That today is my last day of work for four days!!! I am starting my four day weeks and I’m loving it!!!
11. That I don’t have to worry about doing any work at home since I have enough hours in from the extra time with the torch relay! Makes four days off even better when they are really off!!!!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tackle It Tuesday
It was a wonderful weekend – even though the productivity was low.
However this is my first four day week…. So we shall see how my report goes next Tuesday after a four day weekend…. Could be good??? Let’s hope so!
Wii Fit update, well last week was for sure not my best week. I think I missed more days then I hit. I also had one real bad cheat day food wise where I chug a lugged the Pepsi, snarffed up the ice cream and gobbled Chinese food – oh my!!!! I did not quite reach my month goal that I set just before Christmas I had set to lose 3 KG – or 6.6 LBS – I only did 2.4 KG or 5.3 LBS – not great, but not horrible for my first month and over Christmas and New Years……
My new goal is 1.4 KG or just over 3 pounds in two weeks from yesterday…. It is the highest number the Wii recommends for two weeks – may be setting my sights too high again, but we shall see….
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